This is sort of a picture of Patton. I think if he were a human he would like sports.
You can leave if you want to but don’t look back I’m warning you- You won’t like the way that things have changed. Two black leaves will be my eyes, the winds will roll, the water rise- All the things that time can rearrange.
If you go. These are the things you should know. Backwards the water will flow. Eyes in skull. Bouncing ball.
You were mine. We lived in a house made of time. The prayers and the sayings would rhyme. Dream you feel. Not quite real.
In the end you were a man, you stood there on your own. Always smiling like a friend yet somehow quite alone.
You can leave if you want to but don’t look back I’m warning you- You won’t like the way that things have changed. Two black leaves will be my eyes, the winds will roll, the water rise- All the things that time can rearrange.
If you see a picture that holds you and me, A pitcher of pure family. Dark things hide. Stay inside.
But the flame. He lived in a cage with no name. The day he was born he was blamed. Bouncing ball. Animal.
In the end, he was a fire he stood there on his own. Worlds would disappear inside him Who knows where they go?
You can leave if you want to but don’t look back I’m warning you- You won’t like the way that things have changed. Two black leaves will be my eyes, the winds will roll, the water rise- All the things that time can rearrange.
First the sound of laughing. Life is all around. I lie. Close my eyes again and I Feel it falling down. I fly.
I can see behind me. I see you. I remember then when you Were my only blue.
All the waves come crashing To my mind that’s how it goes. I was stationed like a pool. You were free to go.
Falling down into me Now I can’t explain why I’m Reaching out to touch your face Touch me back and then I fly.
Hover in the air to watch you there. You were getting bored the more that I tried. And my arms blew all around you like a storm and nothing more. You stayed inside.
Raining down again I try To remember all you said. But the pieces never fit Piling up inside my head.
Close my eyes again and I I see you. Take me back again to when You’re my only blue.
I feel like the group mind is my retarded little brother. He’s so SSSSLLLLLOOOWWWW. A fire breaks out and four years later he shows up with his extinguisher. But now storm clouds are approaching. Hey Retard- LOOK! Do you see that?!?
No, he doesn’t. He’s too busy rolling around on the floor, whacking off to the idea of himself as a fireman.
He’s never any help in the moment. But once the battle is over you can bet he’ll show up on the field to take selfies, then whack off to the idea of himself as a soldier.
Like now, what are people talking about? They are still responding to concepts like ‘toxic masculinity’ ‘believe all women.’ They are still calling people snowflakes. All moments that have passed! (I am making strangling movements with my hands while thinking about this cause it frustrates me so much.) Meanwhile they ignore the threats which are clear and present.
Snowflakes. I got called a snowflake today for the fact that- personally- I find the Heard trial triggering. I find it triggering that she owes 10 million for an op-ed. I find it triggering that people are treating her like a piece of shit when- for all they know- she actually was abused.
Really I should take it as a compliment because I do plan to be a snowflake in years to come. Snowflakes are exactly what we’ll need in the fiery, insensitive days that lie ahead. I claim a right to my own feelings and a right to express them regardless of whether or not they are the feelings someone else believes I should have.
The snowflake phenomenon was only in play during the latter half of the 2010s decade when Neptune was in the second decan of Pisces, which turns people into whiny entitled babies. The problem with those snowflakes is they weren’t real snowflakes. They were bullies in snowflake disguise. Neptune represents what people try to *appear* to be, what they see as ideal, not necessarily what they are.
So the problem with snowflakes circa 2019 is they weren’t really sensitive, they just used concepts like empathy and sensitivity as an excuse to bully others. I guess the overly self-indulgent attitude was a problem as well. Micro-traumas demanded staying home from work to binge watch tv while wearing face masks. But you can guarantee that will be ending soon.
Likewise, the anti-male sentiment people are now reacting too is also in the rearview mirror. It has been for a while. In the past couple years, women have been the main target under group mind attack. Karens. Amy Cooper. Ashli Babbitt. Men in women’s sports and restrooms. Men debating whether or not women have the right to live if it would require an abortion. People saying dumb shit like female on male violence is a serious problem as the Taliban forces women back into their homes. Please don’t hurt me retarded brother. I know the words of 2019 are still ringing in your ears. But I’m not attempting to mount men and force them into eternal submission. Just saying what appears to be true. Men need to finish licking paper cuts which are four years old and move into the current moment. It’s embarrassing.
So what’s coming up? Fire. Aggression. Anger. Athletes. Soldiers. Action. No more laziness. No more philosophical discussions. Dogs. We will all become dogs. But hard dogs, street dogs, dogs that have no owners to soften them.
So I am preparing for my usual position of opposing the group mind as it moves around the zodiac. I plan to become more sensitive. Start taking bubble baths. Float around in them for hours while drooling on myself as tears pour from my eyes.
In case you would like to read more about this from an astrology perspective…
I have to say though- sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night panicking, because in all these years Neptune has been travelling through Pisces I have done nothing but talk smack about it. The truth is Pisces has a lot to offer but every time I try to write something positive about it I suddenly become too lazy to move. So I don’t know what to do about it.
Good things have come from these years though. Things I am only now beginning to appreciate as our Pisces time is drawing to a close. I just saw the movie Top Gun- which I feel accurately captures the values & perspective of Neptune in Aries. I am afraid I won’t cut it in this vigorous new world.
(Hi- this is Julien from the future dropping in to tell you I just wrote a post explaining one of the gifts- sacrifice- that can be gained from Neptune’s transit through Pisces.)
In my mind you walk beside me in the sun Standing like a fire between myself and everyone. Hold me in your arms I feel the yellow falling down. You are my ground.
Brown. Orange. Packed. Worn. Product of the clay where you were born.
Then one day you push me and I‘m falling back. Rolling over, over down into the black. Open up my eyes to find a world of liquid blue. Where are you? There’s no ground.
Spinning now. Spinning around. Grasping for whatever seems to be the ground. Unknown. Scorned. Tossed away from clay you were born.
One day I will find my way to solid shore. Fingers sinking into mud scared no more Sinking into earth is where the body can renew. My earth is you.
Strong. Sad. Sometimes crazy sometimes mad. Fighting one day overcome and soar Far away from clay where you were born.
This picture perfectly captures my life at the moment… a bear on one side representing everything humans dream of and a black swirl on the other, representing the forces of darkness. And in the middle, confusion. I hope I’m not being too dramatic. I actually hung the black swirl picture in the hopes that a picture of black swirls would cancel out real black swirls, but I don’t think it worked. Don’t worry though I’m not suicidal & you shouldn’t be either. For all we know black holes lead someplace wonderful. Maybe to paradise.
Would you come away with me and Put the bar upon the door Take away the black and blue and gray Maybe I don’t want them no more.
First the clouds began to gather Then they thicken to a bruise Then you wait for them to strike Looking at the things you’ll lose.
Maybe you should tell him stop then From the waters you will climb and Wander in the dusty world Leaving everything behind.
No. No. The water’s fine. Suck it down. Suicide. Down. Down. It never ends. Let it come, come again
Would you come away with me and Take me to a coffee shop We could wander through a peaceful town Find a pleasant way to talk.
Never push and never tumble Never hurt and never bleed- no! Never lost and dressed in rags Never grovelling with need.
Come. Come. The water’s fine. Suck it down. Suicide. Down. Down. It never ends. Let it come, come again.
Bleeding out Then you realize All the things you’re running from Were the things that you desire.
Come. Come. The water’s fine. Suck it down. Suicide. Down. Down. It never ends Let it come, come again.
This song was from a dream. Mostly at the moment I only write songs when I hear them in dreams which can be annoying because I don’t always want to wake up. But I usually do, just in case there is some meaning behind it.
A bigger problem though is that dream songs have some added dimension that can’t be captured…. kind of like they are being sung from all directions at once- or there is some kind of harmony but not any harmony that can be replicated…. it is just like there is an additional dimension somehow that creates a feeling of infinite spaciousness, but when you wake up that dimension is gone & all you can write down are the melody and words. I suppose you could try to replicate that other quality with a children’s choir & orchestra, but I am lactose intolerant.
Take a step into the silence Smell the air- the scent of violence To close your eyes & tell us all what you see.
A single bird on the tallest tree now From all directions a harmony Somehow I know- we must follow his lead.
‘Yes I flew up to the tallest tree O do you see me there? Hellow it’s me- I have been watching you I am the reason you cried.
I alone am the crown of kings I am the god of birds and little things You oughtta know by now I’ll be the reason you die.
I fell down. I was saved. I was thrown. In a pauper’s grave.’
Wading now into the water Oh my god, are you my father? A little boy crying there at your feet.
The waters clear & the pictures come now From all directions the boys will drum now A sea of men blowing into the creek.
‘Look again into the tallest tree And you will see me there- bow to me I have been watching you I am the reason you cried.
I alone am the crown of kings I am the god of birds and little things You oughtta know by now I’ll be the reason you fly.
I fell down. I was saved. I was thrown. In a pauper’s grave.
I hope this is a video where I sing the song thru to the end rather than messing up in the middle & stopping, but I can’t bring myself to watch it and find out. The worst part of music (beside the technology) is having to think about, look at, and listen to yourself. I can’t really deal with that, so as much as possible, I don’t. I hate having to consider the impression I make on others & have a hard time doing it anyway, since I don’t know how others think.
Some people enjoy sculpting their self-image. For many musicians this seems to be a big part of their job. I think that is why I avoided music for so long, because I didn’t want to have to think about or promote myself anymore. But now I don’t, so its cool. I can stay in my own world.
The way the media portrays it, the essence of femininity is an obsession with one’s own image, but- for the average women- I think this is far from true. If anything, women have a diminished sense of self and increased sensitivity to things around them. Their focus on appearance is mostly a shield against the negative judgments of their value which they have been trained to fear since birth. And I don’t think these judgments come from men but are really a media creation.
I feel like a dork talking about the media, but at the same time I don’t know if you can overstate the influence Hollywood & its sister industries have had on our collective mind. They have truly seized control of the collective imagination- how we see life, what we think it is about. This is tragic, because the spell they cast is a dark one which seems consistently designed to make people devalue themselves & life.
And they are the one part of our society which is consistently misogynistic as though they are led by people who specifically have it in for women. They objectify women and see women in their natural role as worthless. The only way women can redeem themselves is either by 1. being a perfect object that many men want to have sex with (in real life being a perfect object & having a lot of opportunities for sex are probably not very related, but the media links these together so females will see being hit on as a sign of validation) or 2. being able to do masculine things as well or better than men. Both of which, for most women, are going to be unfulfilling.
I don’t think people realize the impact this has. When women complain about being objectified, men don’t seem to understand where they are coming from or exactly how deep the wound can be. They see it as an attack on men. “Hey, I’m a man, I like to look! Sue me! (Snort snort).” They see women focusing on their appearance and then asking not to be objectified and the whole thing seems quite hypocritical. In reality, men objectifying women isn’t the problem. Perhaps they aren’t even doing this. We’ll never know. The real problem is women objectifying themselves.
The problem with women believing that their value and power comes from their appearance is, of course, that it cuts them off from their true source of power and has them searching for water in a place where no water is to be found. In a natural state women retain the connection to those forces which created us and the memory of what we were before birth. Without female energy in the world, we become disconnected from our source and start a desperate search for something to replace it. We forget that we are immortal & the world is full of magic. Life becomes flat and dry. So many of the psychological problems in the modern world are related to the degradation of women. Women are the essence of depth but we have turned them into the essence of shallowness.
What is my point? I don’t know. I don’t mean to sound all goddessy- I don’t even like that stuff. But I see that people suffer mentally from the fact that our collective imagination is ruled by a heartless masculine cartel. As I’ve expressed many times, there is nothing I love more than masculine warriors, but ruling the collective imagination is not their proper place.
Mostly I just wanted to say sorry if the video is messed up.
Lyrics….
It was nearly close to sunset And the air it was swimming with flies They were swatted without regret As I laughed by his side
Dancing in the palm of his hand- fire Dripping through the blood in his veins I need to keep walking I can’t get tired Falling back again and again
Gonna see the river Gonna see the river Gonna see the river Gonna see the river
First his shadow fell upon me Then he held my little hand in the fire So I tried to lift my eyes up But I was tired
Dancing on the back of my eyes now People always said he was gay But I saw him slip into the White Palm That was a good day.
Gonna see the river Gonna see the river Gonna see the river Gonna see the river
Suddenly the trees begin to smile Twirl me on the pavement for a while You couldl give him one more chance After that I’m on my own.
Sink your fingers deep into the red Ringing in the air around my head You couldl give me one more chance After that I’m on my own.
Gonna see the river Gonna see the river Gonna see the river Gonna see the river
Not much time until the sunset Just keep moving for a little more while Though he killed you without regret Still he always had the heart of a child
Dance into the river of regret Dance into the river of pain Dance into the aquador where we met That was a good day.
Gonna see the river Gonna see the river Gonna see the river Gonna see the river
