silence

I watched the sun fall through the dirt
Inside, something hurt
Though I waited for you, you did not return.

Sun rise, harsh and mean
Eyes burn, what does life mean?
Could there be another place, a world that can’t be seen?

Is God real? Does he understand?
I press my face into your wrinkled hand.

I want to touch the golden one.
I want to walk in his golden sun.
(When you crawl, life can be so easy for you.)

I want to give everything away.
I want to shrink every single day.
And be small, down upon my knees for you.

Your eyes fall upon my face
My brain goes still
and in its place is a silent space.

Your hand upon my head
Buttered tea and a cube of bread
Memories, what do they mean?
Were they only dreams?

Is life real? Can anybody know
The way to truly please a man of gold?

I want to touch the golden one.
I want to walk in his golden sun.
(When you crawl, life can be so easy for you.)

I want to give everything away.
I want to shrink every single day.
And be small, down upon my knees for you.

And every time I fall so low
Watch out, his love flows into my heart
There is no pain; there is only gain.

And every time I see his eyes
Come within an inch of mine
Shine, shine, shine, light divine- all I have is thine.

Am I real? Why try to understand?
I only need to reach out for his golden hand.

I want to touch the golden one.
I want to walk in his golden sun.
(When you crawl, life can be so easy for you.)

I want to give everything away.
I want to shrink every single day.
And be small, down upon my knees for you.

Download MP3: The Golden One

I was intending for this song to be the last of my “Pathetiques-” those songs which express the most pathetic slice of my soul. Therefore, I took some time off from writing in the hopes of tapping into a more vigorous part of myself.

But since I spent that time painting my apartment pink and learning the daintiest of sciences, chemistry, it may be that my descent into patheticness is just beginning.

Handkerchief rests like a weight on my chest, I can’t breath, oh no
I knew from the start the things that come will go

You say you love me, but love is a word, tra la la, I know
Life floods when it comes and where it goes it goes

Restrain, I can’t breath, mind tries focusing
But what is there on which I can rely

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel real
Please don’t let them know how I feel.

Handkerchief lies like a weight on my eyes, I can’t see, oh no
I’ll come when you say come and where you go I’ll go

Hand on my chest, you gotta breath in and you must let go
But even when I gasp and wheeze the air will never flow

Faces in a blur, cold hearts, I am sure
Though their hands reach through the fog, I will demure

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel real
Please don’t let them know how I feel.

Smile girl, take your place
You knew life was a masquerade
Take a deep breath, then resume your place.

Everyone said the spring would arrive, so just wait through pain
I sat on the bench and waited for the rain

Scent of the pine, scent of the drops which on the needles lie
I waited for the thing on which I could rely

Silence is that you? Silver and golden too
Fallen on the forest floor, I walked all over you

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel real
Please don’t let them know how I feel.

Download MP3: I Don’t Feel Love