Ever since I left my husband, until recently, I’d been living on this plane- the Plane of Survival.
I was in shock, struggling to survive, not sure if I could, and everything I did, thought and felt was through a survival lens.
I read once that people struggling to survive do not get depressed, nor do they experience existential dread, because they know life has a meaning- to catch that slice of pizza before it slides down the drain.
Every day is a quest to live and when you succeed, that is meaning.
On the plane of survival you are wired with extra energy. Feelings are suppressed. Vision narrows. You can run like an antelope. You have springs in your feet. You are twice as strong as you were before.
You see relationships through a different lens. Does this person make me safer? This isn’t a gold digger wanting to get rich, because wealth and luxury don’t exist yet. Nor does status. You just want to know, will they feed me? Would they be there for me if I needed them? If not, the law of the jungle commands you invest yourself elsewhere.
On the Survival plane, I was Slipper’s drill sargeant. ‘March Slippers, march!!!’ I would shout as I drug her through the streets crying. ‘If we don’t get there in 5 minutes, do you realize we could lose our home?!’ I didn’t care how deranged I looked to other people. Dignity is the first thing thrown off a sinking ship. Once you let it go you realize it was 80% of your body weight. At any rate, the more frazzled and distraught I looked, the more likely random strangers would be to offer me a sandwich. When you truly are desperate, looking desperate can be a good thing.
If you meet a person on the Plane of Survival, give them something. They aren’t a mooch, they are actually in need and there’s a big difference. There are many ways people can reach this plane and we all pass through it eventually. But please, don’t give them a pep talk or philosophical lecture. In this state you have the mind of a dog and words don’t mean a thing. Give them a sandwich, a blanket, a $20 bill. Or more if you are one of the Angels of this Plane. These angels were the best part. I had no idea how kind people were before living here.
The other good part is this world’s briskness. You become bolder, braver, more invigorated than you ever were before. Because you can’t afford to hide away in your safe and calcified world. It doesn’t exist anymore. Every day becomes an adventure.
But it’s also a dangerous time, because you will latch onto ANYTHING that seems to offer safety, regardless of its long term impact. It’s not a state where you can make constructive decisions about your future. The future and past don’t exist. There is an alarm going off and you need to stop it.
And so you also meet bad people, due to your low standards and desperation. If there is no clear path before you, becoming a criminal is likely. You don’t have the brain space to dream up some brilliant plan forward. You are disconnected- internally & externally- from things uplifting.
I think what people need in this state is social support. If the focus is put on them being self-reliant at a moment when they are drowning, their actions are likely to be destructive to themselves or others. It is easier to become a Contributing Member of Society once a siren is no longer going off in your head.
