Tag: marijuana

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love My Life Story Writings

Hillbillies

Now that I’m on my own I have been forced to assimilate more with the culture around me.

I’ve been wanting to write about hillbillies for a while but it isn’t easy. Because the culture exists on a different plane that I haven’t reached yet. It’s a long slow fall towards the center of the earth.

If I HAD to sum things up with a few symbols I’d choose beer, whiskey, marijuana, beans, potatoes, corn bread, cast iron, dune buggies, family, nature, guns and mason jars. Sound boring? Well it is. It’s a boredom that causes one part of yourself to die while another part opens up.

The best way I can describe it is this…. Imagine you have to spend the next 8 hours listening to your slowest, least talkative friend while sitting on the hillside in a forest. He is going to tell you the story of how he built his house, board by board, brick by brick. You are going to sit there and listen.

Behind you are 48 cans of beer. To your right is a gigantic pipe stuffed with marijuana. You are free to partake but you neither drink nor smoke.

The story begins. You try hard to focus. ‘This will be great. I’m learning something.’ you tell yourself. ‘Maybe one day I’ll want to build a house and this information will be useful.’ For the next forty minutes your brain strains, trying to extract nutrients from the story.

Then you reach a cracking point. A feeling of unbearable restlessness builds up inside you. You panic and reach for a beer.

As you drink the story continues. Nail, board, nail board. It’s as boring as fuck but the beer is starting to relax you. You sink down a little into the boredom. Nail beer, nail beer. Board. House. It’s boring. It’s boring. You will survive. You reach for another beer.

But another hour and you want to get the fuck out of there. Seriously? Oh my fucking God. You know what? Maybe you’ll try that marijuana. You smoke it and start to notice how the leaves sway with the story.

Your mind breaks up like clouds and the story washes all over you. Is he talking about a house or is it a parable for your life? You look at your friend. Was he always this insightful? You’ve known him for many years and only now you’re seeing him for the first time? You lie back on the ground and realize he’s lying there too. You briefly consider making love to him then remember you aren’t gay. The story continues.

Clouds nails boards. Clouds nails boards. The story is more boring than ever but the boredom becomes a brown flood washing over you. Your body is the house. Your friend is rebuilding it. You are rushing away in the brown waters. The past is sweeping over you and forgotten scenes from your life start returning to your mind. How did you forget so much? You’ve lived your life in a daze, haven’t you? Distracting yourself with mental puzzles that ultimately meant nothing.

And now you’re solid. Seeing the world with new eyes. You look at your friend and he seems more real than ever before. He is a potato and you are one too. It’s beautiful.

Another hour passes. Nail, board, hoard, woard. The panic arises again. I can’t take this! And then a thought… WE ARE FREE BEINGS!!!! “We don’t have to sit here Buddy!” you scream. “We are to free to go!” Light flashes in your friend’s eyes and he starts running to the nearby trail where his dune buggy is parked. You run behind him. Exhilaration. You climb in while he drives, going faster and faster than ever before. It feels like bliss until you crash and then you are flying.

When at last you come to, you realize your friend is lying on the ground beside you. He is still telling you the story of how he built his house. Nail, board. Nail, board. Your head hurts and so does your body. But it will be alright. You lie there and listen. It’s a pretty good story after all.

The End.

This is how life in West Virginia feels to an outsider anyway. I don’t know how it feels to insiders and probably never will since ‘Don’t ask don’t tell.’ along with ‘Keep it Nasty!’ are the two mottos of the region. I try to make sense of it all but this world is so dense, dark, compacted and gravitous I sometimes feel I’m being buried alive. I start to panic. Then I reach for my pipe.*

Hi!

But for reals its like I’m learning a new way of thinking. Less speed and more solid. I think its called patience. You just crack open a beer and observe while the people and things around you reveal their true nature.

* I don’t really have a pipe.

The other day a friend pulled out his knife to carve an X on my to go box. What’s that? I asked. Rebel Flag, he said.
A man gave me this old tackle box when I admired it.
A friend of a friend gave me this warm shirt. People are very nice here if you can be accepted but that is a long and tricky process involving nuances I don’t understand. If you are a friend of a friend though you get a free visitors pass.
I ate Thanksgiving in a bikers bar. They had Turkey, stuffing, pie and all the works that you could enjoy for free. You don’t need to be rich or successful to matter here. Only humble, hard working, down to earth & preferably related. I’m none of those.
Slippers and I have been reunited. This has stopped the nighttime panics of hyperventilating with the need to tell her I love her. Her presence is grounding and she makes me feel more at home.

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia My Life Story Politics Writings

My Little Life in Politics

Hi. I have been blocked from facebook again. For inciting violence. A person asked what I would do if a man hit me & I said I would try to kick him in the balls then duck and scream. Or something like that.

So they suspended me for one month followed by a month of shadow banning. They said their decision can’t be contested because Covid- 19. Of course. I am going to have to find a way to break free of this abusive platform.

They SAY I can disagree. But when I try they say I can’t. Cause Covid.
Also, fwiw, I would never kick a man in the nuts in real life. It would be dangerous.


This is extra annoying because I have an election in one month and was using my account to connect with hundreds of voters. How can this be legal now that social media is the new platform through which humans speak?

In other news… door knocking is turning out to be the funnest thing ever. The majority of people open their doors and each one is cuter than the last. To say hi and hand each cutie a magnet- it is a great feeling. Like pollinating flowers. Sometimes you forget how refreshing the airy side of life can be.

And since I’ve realized 95% of voters don’t care about my positions, I simplified the door hanger accordingly. I don’t want to forcibly insert my opinions where they aren’t wanted. Instead, they are tucked away on a webpage where people can access them if they wish. If you visit this page and have any questions or unfulfilled needs, let me know.


I chose a picture where I am a fading dot because I can’t yet bear to be the person knocking on doors to hand people a giant photo of my own face. It’s too much. I need things to feel right or I can’t do them.

In high school, for example, I couldn’t understand chemistry. It was a bunch of squiggles. The chemical smells, rough textures, dry air, fluorescent lighting, cinder block walls, impersonal communication style. No. But as an adult learning chemistry was fun because I could control the aesthetics. I had my pink calculator, a notebook with puppies in a flower basket, a smoothly laminated periodic table (I hate touching all dry and scratchy things besides whiskers), and a lemon candle- representing crisp intelligence. Ahhhh… paradise. Suddenly I could easily compute things that had been nonsensical before.

I am approaching politics the same way. It is far outside my wheelhouse but James really wanted me to and I do what he says cause I be dumb like that. But by applying my own aesthetics the task becomes enjoyable. I have my flower magnets, my floral bag, the cuteness of the people, the beauty of the sky and the newness of the neighborhoods. I’m also inspired by the fact that (astrologically) I am scheduled for a fall from grace in around 2.5 years and politics could be a great way to accomplish this. Maybe I’ll pull a mini Weiner and go down with a perverted sex scandal. Then retreat, tail between my legs, to write songs in a little pink house by the ocean.

And of course I feel inspired by the chance to take a stand for the things I care about. But what are those things? The 50,000 questionnaires I have received from various interest groups have made me realize that politics does not really boil down to specific positions or even principles.

It is more like making a soup. If it’s burning, you turn down the heat. When it gets too thick you add water. It is hard to take an absolute stand on whether you or for or against adding more black pepper because it is so context specific. The goal is to have a society which maximizes personal freedom, while also having the law, order, and security on which functional freedom depends.

While I agree with the principles behind legalizing marijuana for example, I also can’t help but notice that it is a drug famous for increasing many of the qualities already threatening to topple our society. Passivity. Lack of drive. Fruity thinking. Could we legalize cocaine instead and save the pot discussion for 2025? Maybe people will have regained some vigor by then and it will be more clear how marijuana fits into the scheme of things.

When it comes down to it, I’m not a woman of principles. I’m a Black 8.

“I’ll serve you in the house like I serve my husband in the house.”

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Uncategorized

Neptune in Pisces

If you are bewildered by the social crazes of recent years- the obsession with sensitivity, the glorification of victimhood,  the insistence on compassion even when it is self defeating- you might be happy to know that this state of affairs is the temporary result of the planet Neptune passing through the constellation of Pisces.

Pisces rules sensitivity, weakness, victimhood, and all things of a new age and spiritual nature. It is an idealistic sign that glorifies the sacrifice of self for the greater good. It values emotion over thought, imagination over reality, feminine over masculine,  and passive over active. It rules sleep, death, meditation, isolation.

Neptune signifies, among other things, our collective ideals. It can cause us to glamorize things to such an extent that we become out of touch with reality. It takes Neptune 14 years to pass through each sign of the zodiac, and during that time the values of that sign will tend to be glorified in our culture.

So Neptune’s transit through Pisces will coincide with idealizing the subjective, imaginary, and emotional world that Pisces represents.

 

Some manifestations of Neptune in Pisces include:

  • Safe spaces & trigger warnings. The importance of feelings and subjective states becomes over-emphasized.
  • Caitlyn Jenner, Chelsea Manning. They ARE women so long as they say they are. Pisces represents the end of objective reality.
  • Bernie Sanders. Pisces rules the collective and the dissolution of the individual. The sacrifice of the self for the group. Equality is good. Selfishness is bad.
  • Colin Kaepernick. The NFL kneeling during the national anthem. The worship of Canada, Scandinavia, and foreign countries in general. Patriotism is bad. Other countries are good. (Pisces rules faraway lands and a longing for Other Places.)
  • The push to legalize doctor assisted suicide. Pisces rules suicide and death. Life is a dream, a choice, not an absolute value.
  • The legalization of marijuana. Pisces rules drugs in general, since they enable the escape from objective reality, or at least blur its edges. In addition, marijuana places people in a Piscean stae of mind where ambition is lessened and sensitivity to the artistic and subjective is increased.
  • Toxic-masculinity, man-splaining, the patriarchy, rape culture and other ideas that seek to de-masculinize our culture. Pisces is a passive, feminine sign which has no need for masculine force and striving.
  • Black Lives Matter, Gay Parades, #MeToo, #TimesUp. Victimhood is destigmatized and turned into the new status symbol. (Pisces rules victims.) Mental illness (also ruled by Pisces) is destigmatized & turned into a social accessory.
  • The hatred of weapons, police, government, hunting, oil companies, etc.  Just because we eat meat, drive cars, and expect to be protected from bad guys doesn’t mean we are alright with animals being killed, cops wielding authority, or pipelines being built. Pisces likes its comforts, but is dissociated from the practical realities that underlie them.
  • The rise of yoga, meditation, self-care, journaling etc. Pisces rules emotional healing at its best, comatose navel gazing at its worst.

 

As far as Neptune in Pisces is concerned…

Good= Femininity, victims, weakness, equality, subjectivity, sacrifice, feelings, sensitivity, marijuana, other countries, spirituality, introversion, compassion, others, dependence, self-care, collectivism,  meditation, crystals, yoga, spirituality, smoothies, bubble baths, insanity, suicide.

Bad= Masculinity, judgment, law and order, duty, objectivity, patriotism,  competition, ambition, discipline,  police, military, government, weapons, rules, responsibility, guns, authority, selfishness, aggression, materialism, individualism, responsibility, greed, Donald Trump.

 

Although the extremes of this Neptune transit can be both hilarious and frightening, it is also the case that this time represents an important course correction for us as a group, where the value of things which may have been scorned and suppressed in the past are once again brought into focus. We become more willing to confront our pain and insanity, and to recognize the value of our subjective inner world. We learn to blame those who have hurt us, rather than internalizing their assaults as shame. The ultimate purpose of Pisces is the healing of our inner selves so that emotional pain can finally be set aside and life begin anew.

So you may as well take this opportunity to throw a pity party for yourself, because in 2025 Neptune will enter the sign of Aries, a hotheaded, fiery and masculine sign with no regard for the feelings and needs of others. A pioneering spirit will overtake America once again, and those who are weak will not even be mocked, just thoughtlessly trampled underfoot.