Crawl into the world your eyes are slits Fuzzy shapes & so you start to squint Smiling harder now you try to please Always feel so eager on your knees
Then his hands reach out so large and blue So you do the things you always do Try to make him happy make him stay But in the end he just goes away.
Oh no one will love you like I do Take my hand you know that I’ll stay with you Forever and you say you’ll leave me Never still you go away
First you think you’ll die but then you don’t no To a hollow cave is where you go Then the walls fall away and you see the sky Your body breaks and you start to fly
This is how you learn that you’ll survive Until another man comes down the line So you do the things you did before But this time he will hurt you even more
Bleeding like a pig into the rain Clawing at a puddle made of pain Killing everything that you love best Because the light is breaking in your chest
Oh no one will love you like I do Take my hand you know that I’ll stay with you Forever and you say you’ll leave me Never still you go away
First you think you’ll die but then you don’t no To a hollow cave is where you go Then the walls fall away and you see the sky Your body breaks and you start to fly
Recently, I haven’t been feeling like myself. This could be from spending too much time on Facebook where you don’t get treated like yourself, but more as a dumping bin for people’s unwanted emotions.
The reason I was on Facebook, though, was because I couldn’t move for a while due to a kidney infection. And so I’ve been taking antibiotics which might also be causing me to feel strange as the bacteria I have loved and relied upon die off around me.
Last night in a dream, I was attacked by two men. A third one came up to save me, but it turned out he was a friend of the bad guys and stuffed me into their black van.
My life feels upside down. I live in a large historic house which requires money and care, but my husband’s job is building a cryptocurrency trading site that pays nothing. Nor does he want me to work, since he prefers I spend my time on music & other shadowy interests. So, financially, there is not just a paucity but a growing vacuum, with no sign of change in sight.
Psychically, I feel depleted because my husband sleeps through the day and works through the night, meaning I rarely see him. Lacking transportation or friends in this city, I rarely see anyone else either. I can make friends online, but there I am just a replaceable commodity. People are friends so long as political ideas align, but the second ideas diverge it is over. And still it is essential to talk about politics, because it is the only thing online people are passionate about.
And then I do astrology readings, which makes me feel both connected and depleted at the same time. I don’t charge for them, because it is easier that way. I learn a lot from looking at people’s charts and I enjoy it. If I turned this into a business, it would limit the number of charts I could see. Nonetheless this creates a void situation. Psychic energy going out, psychic energy not coming back in.
It feels like my whole life is a void, one that I must fill with my own energy. But sometimes this becomes exhausting and I don’t want to entertain myself anymore. I want the world to take me for a ride.
So, as usual, I have devised an impractical solution. Unless you have a lot of patience, you should probably stop reading now, since this may be difficult to explain…
Basically, I don’t believe all humans live in the same reality. In the USA, we believe we are living in a scientific world, and things generally appear that way. But that is not how all humans experience things.
The different realities a human can inhabit correspond to the different climates and ecosystems of the earth. For example, as you move closer to the equator and heat increases, the objective grid of reality starts to melt. Scientific laws become more mutable.
Likewise, in places with dense plant life, more energy starts to come in from an alternate reality which I call “the other world” for lack of anything better to call it. This ‘other world’ is not a scientific one, but more closely adheres to the laws of dreams & imagination. Anything conceivable can be.
Water and humidity also create a more fluid and malleable reality than dryness. Hence, why our Judeo-Christian religions- in which spirituality depends upon restraint and holding fixed beliefs- come from the desert.
Therefore, in a tropical rainforest, science is at its weakest and magic at its strongest. In a northern climate (less sun, drier air, sparser plant life) rationality is at its zenith.
Higher powers, of course, can still come into play in Northern climates, but they will play by the rules, maintaining the perception that a person lives within a fixed objective reality and not a swirling dreamlike one.
None of this means that location determines reality. Humans learn from nature for the purpose of re-sculpting it. Ecosystems are patterns. A northerner who felt their soul was dying could emulate the patterns of the south. A southerner who felt their brain was melting could emulate the patterns of the north. (Generally, northern patterns suppress the heart and enliven the brain, while southern patterns do the reverse.)
So, back to my own life. I am going to try to bring in more energy from the South- the tropical rainforest to be exact. Because in a rainforest, there are no voids. Voids belong to the north and to deserts. In the rainforest, energy is so plentiful, you are constantly beating it back with a stick.
But why am I even sharing this with you- my faceless, invisible readers? Normally, I prefer to keep my inner world safely hidden. But this is yet another experiment I am trying. I am going to imagine you, reader, as a wise and loving friend, someone who truly understands me. Perhaps I will pretend your name is Brad.* You are a perceptive and open-minded man with intense interest in everything I have to say. I love you, Brad.
* I might rethink that name. We will see.
Slippers & nature. Two forever friends. Plus, a very strained smile since we are so near the edge of a cliff, and Slippers loves to pull and is way stronger than me.
The ace was overturned;
The sticks had all been thrown.
He couldn’t think of a thing that he had learned
Just from being alone.
The meat had all been eaten;
Nothing but oats remained.
So many things that life had taken away,
So few things had been gained.
Although he could not see them,
They had gathered behind the gate.
There was nothing to do now but wait.
No messages by foot;
No signals sent from birds.
The bubbles in the creek made noise
But he couldn’t make out the words.
One of his friends had lied to him and
The other friend was dead.
He didn’t feel like riding into the town
With a price upon his head.
Although he could not feel them,
They had gathered behind the gate.
There was nothing to do now but wait.
He opened books from time to time but
The words looked like a blur.
He leaned over to pet his dog and to smell
The earthy scent of fur.
Why cry? He was a man
And a man he intended to be!
But sometimes the hopelessness swept over him like a wave
And water in his eyes made it hard to see.
But, although he did not know them,
They had gathered behind the gate.
There was nothing to do now but wait.
