i can’t breath

Hold my head in my hands and I struggle to think
I cannot understand, I can never be sure
Though I struggle to stand, still I have one more drink
Then I follow the hand that will open the door
And he will be there for sure.

In the blue of your room where you fall over me
I begin to forget when you hover above
Till our minds overlap, like a bubble I break
Spilling into your hand, dripping down on the rug
And we will live for love.

Change me. Change me.

You could teach me the things that you know
You could give me the money that you’ve made
Lay your hands on my fingers let me know
All the things that you want for me to say.

As long as you will stay

I tried so hard to pray, but they didn’t respond
They just fluttered away, so I reached for a pill
Till the waves came to crash, cold and aquamarine
I swore I would obey, I would follow your will
As long as you love me still.

Change me. Change me.

You will teach me the things that you know
You will give me the money that you’ve made
I don’t know where the things with wings they go
Why the sound of a scream they flow away…

And so I will stay.

I remained in the bath till you pulled me beneath
Till you pulled at my hair but I didn’t resist
I could feel you around blending into the air
Looking aquamarine and I gave you my wrist
And we will live for this.

Change me. Change me.

I remained in the bath till you pulled me beneath
Till you pulled at my hair but I didn’t resist
I could feel you around, blending into the air
Looking aquamarine and I gave you my wrist.

I could see in your mind, it was just like a dream
All the things that were gone and those that stayed
But I stayed there too long and I struggled to breath
But we always knew there’d be a price to pay.

Mp3: Aquamarine

I was intending for this song to be the last of my “Pathetiques-” those songs which express the most pathetic slice of my soul. Therefore, I took some time off from writing in the hopes of tapping into a more vigorous part of myself.

But since I spent that time painting my apartment pink and learning the daintiest of sciences, chemistry, it may be that my descent into patheticness is just beginning.

Handkerchief rests like a weight on my chest, I can’t breath, oh no
I knew from the start the things that come will go

You say you love me, but love is a word, tra la la, I know
Life floods when it comes and where it goes it goes

Restrain, I can’t breath, mind tries focusing
But what is there on which I can rely

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel real
Please don’t let them know how I feel.

Handkerchief lies like a weight on my eyes, I can’t see, oh no
I’ll come when you say come and where you go I’ll go

Hand on my chest, you gotta breath in and you must let go
But even when I gasp and wheeze the air will never flow

Faces in a blur, cold hearts, I am sure
Though their hands reach through the fog, I will demure

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel real
Please don’t let them know how I feel.

Smile girl, take your place
You knew life was a masquerade
Take a deep breath, then resume your place.

Everyone said the spring would arrive, so just wait through pain
I sat on the bench and waited for the rain

Scent of the pine, scent of the drops which on the needles lie
I waited for the thing on which I could rely

Silence is that you? Silver and golden too
Fallen on the forest floor, I walked all over you

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel real
Please don’t let them know how I feel.

Download MP3: I Don’t Feel Love