Tag: humans

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Gray Clouds, Brown Boxes & Tubes

An excerpt from my journal.

I haven’t felt capable of writing in here for a while because all these heavy things have been hanging over my head. Literally. Gray clouds & brown boxes. Bars & tubes stuck into my skull, driving me insane.

I assume the gray clouds are depressive thoughts of which I’m not consciously aware. The boxes probably contain psychic junk I have been suppressing. The metal bars extend to various people & represent the pressure I feel to please them. The hollow tubes contain thoughts & perspectives pumped directly into my head.

At least I think this is the case. I haven’t taken the time to carefully dig into these things because there is just too much heavy stuff there & it feels unbearably tedious to sift through it all.

So it has been sitting there, having a slightly discouraging effect upon me, making me doubt the value of anything I could express and also the value of those I would be expressing to.

It hasn’t been the best time ever when it comes to relationships.

For starters James has been going through the darkest period a man lives through in a 264 period (Pluto on moon) also known as the Wife Beating transit. And I’ve been stuck in a house with him night & day.

Secondly, the political situation- shutdowns etc- has me on edge. I feel nervous that you are expected to accept the government’s increasing control without question. I can’t bring myself to wear a mask- because I believe something sketchy is underway- and this makes me seem like an asshole to others. And people already think I am an asshole for supporting Trump which bums me out as well.

But the fact is basic freedoms- such as free speech & the ability to live life on my own terms- are very important to me. I don’t want to live in North Korea. And this makes me a nazi klansman in the eyes of most people I know, making me feel even more isolated.

And on a personal level these past months have released a series of events which made me realize most people I believed to be friends were actually enemies from the beginning. All this has me doubting how many good people actually exist in the world. Is everyone your enemy once you get to know them? Or am I just doing something majorly wrong?

Regardless though, I know I must push through these gray clouds & attempt to express myself, if only to provide balls for my enemies’ cannons.

Because I do believe in life. I know there is a higher purpose and our actions matter. We have to place our faith in doing the right thing, letting the chips fall where they may when it comes to peoples’ reactions.

And I also believe in people because they are made in Life’s image. Still this faith is a muscle I have to consciously exercise. I think the most important part of writing is summoning in your mind an image of an ideal audience that you are writing to. People who are caring, interested, thoughtful…. whatever qualities excite you. These imaginary people become your muse.

Sometimes you imagine specific people have these qualities and you make them your muse. Sometimes you find out they never had those qualities to begin with and it feels as though a piece of your muse has been lost. I guess that is what has been happening to me.

But then you summon your faith again and once again imagine a beautiful golden blob of humanity dangling above your head, filled with endless possibility. People so inviting you want to tell them everything.

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Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Videos

The Same Things That Humans Do (Video)

This man was sure that the end wasn’t coming but
still he’d take a look.
He knew the ways of the men and their holidays
things read in a book

Opened his door and he stood on the precipice
gazing at the sky.
He saw the clouds they were shaped like the animals
things that had to die.

Say goodbye. No.
You will cry, even so.

We only wanted the same things that humans do
We only wanted the same things that humans do, now.

All of the clouds and the sun and the scenery
things that once seemed real.
All of the love and the words and the promises
things that people feel.

Shadows of animals seen on the wallpaper
things that once had light.
Sounds of the people who don’t each other well
fucking through the night.

Say goodbye. No.
You will cry, even so.

We only wanted the same things that humans do.
We only wanted the same things that humans do, now.

This man he knew that he couldn’t communicate
knowledge he had gained.
He carved a picture into a black walnut tree
fallen by the rain.

He said goodbye to the clouds and the scenery-
You, my friends, were right.
He hung himself on the branch of a walnut tree
Hidden by the night.

Say goodbye. No.
You will cry, even so.

We only wanted the same things that humans do
He only wanted the same things that humans do, now.

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Charleston, West Virginia Plants and the Emerald Kingdom Uncategorized

The Great Grains

I am starting to wonder if some of the weird problems creeping up in society- such as:

1. people searching high and low for things to be outraged about
2. people hating others for holding different political beliefs
3. people wanting to label others as bigots on the thinnest of evidence
4. people treating victimhood as heroism

could be related to having turned our back on the grains that have guided us throughout history and taught us how to live together in harmony and peace. Especially wheat, which shortly before all these problems began became public enemy #1 for no apparent reason. Suddenly every health problem could potentially be resolved by removing wheat (if not all grains) from your diet. Suddenly, a grain free diet took on a saintly aura, despite the added expense and violence of living off only vegetables and meat.

I don’t know much about the history of wheat, but I do feel that the history of grains is the history of humanity, and without their help, we would not have become human as we now understand it. I think that to dishonor grains is to disconnect from our human self.

As I see it, we have three parts- the human, the angelic, and the beastly*. They are like stair steps, with the human resting upon the beast, and the angelic resting upon the human. If we detach from our human self, we are left with nothing but the beast, since without the human foundation, the angelic in us cannot exist.

I believe it was the Great Grains of the world who taught us how to construct the human aspect of our psyche so we could rise up out of our animal nature and reach towards the heavens. It was grains that gave us the ideas, knowledge, and values that were needed to build and organize civilizations.

Because- in addition to being mostly benevolent- grains are also practical beings, who know how to balance virtue with necessity, to let us recognize ideals and move towards them, while having the realism to accept that these ideals can never be reached. Grains know how to find the compromise, the middle ground, between God and Nature, Goodness and Power. And I believe that fleshing out this middle ground between heaven and earth is part of the reason why humans were created. Hence, humans and grains are best friends forever, and their destinies are intertwined.

I have said similar things before, and I will say them again, because the importance of Grains as both food and spiritual guides to humanity cannot be overstated! It is GRAINS that give us a balanced mind! It is GRAINS that calm our emotions! It is GRAINS that give us the capacity for brotherly love, and GRAINS that will give us the vision for how to move forward as a collective!!!!! GGGRRRAAAIIINNNSSS!!! And although you can choose to befriend any grains you prefer (perhaps befriending unusual grains could even lead to novel solutions to age old problems), let us never forget the grains that fed and guided our ancestors. Let us never dishonor them and write blasphemous books like “Wheatbelly.” These age-old friends still have many things to teach us and I am sure we will never outgrow them.

Notes:
1. I recognize that these ideas sound weird and although they do make me laugh, I am still completely serious. I believe in grains!

2. I don’t mean any disrespect to animals by referring to our lower nature as beastly, but I think the word beastly captures the essence of the blood & slime part of our self, that slithers, tricks and fights its way towards power, life, and survival.

3. Despite technically being our “lower” nature, I don’t mean to imply that our animal self is lesser than the angelic. The lower self provides the passion and vitality without which heaven would just be a flaccid and never-ending harp song. The lower self is a brave man who is not good, and heaven is a good man who is not brave. Neither has much value on their own. That is why the Middle Ground (between heaven and earth) is so important. The more this ground is developed the more places heaven and earth can touch. And this is the work that humanity and grains were meant to do together.