This is sort of a picture of Patton. I think if he were a human he would like sports.
You can leave if you want to but don’t look back I’m warning you- You won’t like the way that things have changed. Two black leaves will be my eyes, the winds will roll, the water rise- All the things that time can rearrange.
If you go. These are the things you should know. Backwards the water will flow. Eyes in skull. Bouncing ball.
You were mine. We lived in a house made of time. The prayers and the sayings would rhyme. Dream you feel. Not quite real.
In the end you were a man, you stood there on your own. Always smiling like a friend yet somehow quite alone.
You can leave if you want to but don’t look back I’m warning you- You won’t like the way that things have changed. Two black leaves will be my eyes, the winds will roll, the water rise- All the things that time can rearrange.
If you see a picture that holds you and me, A pitcher of pure family. Dark things hide. Stay inside.
But the flame. He lived in a cage with no name. The day he was born he was blamed. Bouncing ball. Animal.
In the end, he was a fire he stood there on his own. Worlds would disappear inside him Who knows where they go?
You can leave if you want to but don’t look back I’m warning you- You won’t like the way that things have changed. Two black leaves will be my eyes, the winds will roll, the water rise- All the things that time can rearrange.
Goodbye for now, I go Who am I? I don’t know, nobody knows Goodbye for now, so long I will reach for you one day through arms of song…
I saw the people form a long thin line They surrounded me in a circle; I did not want to die I saw a dark spot move across the sky Her message was so clear to me: goodbye, goodbye.
Goodbye for now, I go Who am I? I don’t know, nobody knows Goodbye for now, so long I will reach for you one day through arms of song…
They built their village in the northern woods This is not my home, one day I’ll leave for good I cooked my food beneath a veil of stars This is not my home, I said with quivering arms.
Goodbye for now, I go Who am I? I don’t know, nobody knows Goodbye for now, so long I will reach for you one day through arms of song…
They crossed the river in a long thin line Their clothes were stacked upon their heads, piled so high They held each other’s hands with long thin arms Though I leave this place, I will remember you as fallen stars.
Goodbye for now, I go Who am I? I don’t know, nobody knows Goodbye for now, so long I will reach for you one day through arms of song.
*
I wrote this song a couple years ago when I was redecorating my apartment in the hopes that it would magically transform my life into a more exciting one. Since I had already tried every other decorating style I could think of- and my exciting life had not yet manifested- I decided to use reverse psychology on the universe and make my home impersonal and sterile, like a business office. I ‘decluttered,’ removed pictures from the wall, and replaced cutesy soap dishes with industrial ones. I tried to make everything as white and empty as possible. I decided to stop writing songs, to make the void even greater.
And it did make me feel empty. I always get this particular sad feeling after decluttering. ‘Decluttering’ is a popular movement at the moment- supposedly all aspects of your life will improve when you release unnecessary possessions- but I am more or less an opponent of it. Without possessions to weigh us down, our minds become untethered. I learned this the hard way, having given away my possessions many times. When I left one husband and married another, I placed everything I owned, clothing and all, into one duffle bag. I didn’t even have different clothes for summer and winter, just a pair of green shorts and yellow pants that I wore both in snow and extreme humidity. Plus a pink polo shirt with green frogs on it.
Sometimes I still find it challenging to deal with the responsibility of material possessions, but that is life. It is better to be crushed alive by heaviness than to go insane from extreme lightness. Isn’t it?
At any rate, this song is an expression of the ache I felt after turning my home into a business office.
A previous redecoration, where I decided everything needed to be painted green, even Slippers. The poster on the wall is from an earlier decorating scheme where all walls were covered with pictures of water. I don’t know why I felt the need to constantly redecorate, but living in a house has forced me to put that mania behind me, at least a little.
And before you call Slippers fat (as people did at the time) remember that she had just spent the summer in solitary confinement, after getting hit by a car, with nothing to do but eat kibble all day. This photo was right after we adopted her.
Bye bye to broken trees that kept me from the storm Branches safe and warm Goodbye to leaves and sky
Bye bye to solid stones that pressed me to the ground It was there I heard the sound I thought the earth was burning, I
Started pushing through the trees and Through the sticky arms of reason When all this time I knew I needed something
Goodbye it’s time to go and touch the fire from down below I see the red door opening now follow follow Goodbye no time to cry no time to think or wonder why I see the red door opening now follow follow
Bye bye to baby birds who sang to me in breeze You taught me what was feasible Between the earth and sky
Singing to me as I slept upon the forest floor It was there I found a door Beneath the gold pine needles, I
Started burning with a fever Shaking like a true believer When all this time I knew I needed something
Goodbye it’s time to go and touch the fire from down below I see the red door opening now follow follow Goodbye no time to cry no think or wonder why I see the red door opening now follow follow
My friend we meet again It’s no beginning nor the end It’s just a step outside of everything that matters
One step outside of the home Into the middle of the bone Where all reddest blood is grown and splattered splattered
Push through all the trees don’t never listen what they say You know they’ll hate you anyway And yet their day is coming
Tip tap the fire until it rises like a plume Then you’ll feel the tongues consume Just like you’re running running
Spinning fast I wasn’t only Burning up among the lonely When all this time I knew I needed something
Goodbye it’s time to go and touch the fire from down below I see the red door opening now follow follow Goodbye no time to cry no time to think or wonder why I see the red door opening now follow follow
