Tag: darkness

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Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia men Music & Songs On My Own Videos

The Hole

Well I know that he twist me
Didn’t want me around.
Walked off cold, didn’t miss me.
So I’m on my way down
to the town like a ho.

Oh nowhere to go but the sky, dark
Shining for me all alone
On my way home.

First they sneak up behind you
And they want you so bad
Then they roll off to race for the river
Leaving you broken and sad
so you go to the hole.

Oh nowhere to go but the sky, dark
Shining for me all alone
On my way home.

First the sound of the river will make you insane.
But as long as he wants you, then you will remain
You’ll just stay there amazed
You’ll just lay in the dark.

First he show you the starlight
Then he show you the rain
But when his footsteps so dark make you quiver
Then really how can you complain?
You just lay on the ground.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs On My Own Uncategorized

The Original Lie

Waves of grey, waves of light.
Don’t fall now- you know you have to
Make it through just one more night.

But I …. know she comes again
I can smell the stinking smell of
Unwashed hair with sin.

Oh men, they need a place to lay the evil that’s inside.
But please girl don’t you be that place,
Just find a way to run and hide!

Oh please run fast, oh please run far
No never stop until you find the world
Where no one knows you, then you’ll cry.

But don’t be scared. Afraid to die.
That was just the original lie.

Waves of grey, waves of pain.
When they settle down what kind of world
Do you think will remain?

Cause I… know she comes again.
I can feel the rotting smell of lying to so many men.

And I. I run so far.
I will run until I find the world
Where no one ever knew me and then I

Won’t be afraid to die.
That was just the original lie.

Waves of stink- I feel her there
In a room by herself and
It’s too dark to think of anybody else

And so she comes. Comes again.
Sometimes you just bow your head and
Let the darkness win and then you run.

Run so far. I will run until
I find a world where no one ever knew me and then I
Won’t be afraid to die
That was just the original lie.

Original LieDownload

My new bed which came as a box of 5,000 bars. I wasn’t going to bother even trying especially since my wrist is messed up so I can’t turn screws but three people from the shelter showed up like angels & put it together. Megatron* sent me green sheets. So many people have been helpful that sometimes I cry from guilt because I know I’ll never repay them.

That is Glenn on the right, my oldest friend, & Snuffles on the left. Meat** said it looks like a prison bed, which may be just what I need since prisoners are hard & wily.

I feel so afraid. I have to go to court in 10 days for J’s trial & I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or what will happen. It’s horrible. All I wish is that there was something I could do to make things good.

The shelter ladies gave me a choice between a green and a gray basket of home goods & I chose green. It feels like green is the color guiding me forward.

* Megatron is the being formed by women acting collectively. I can’t believe how many women have helped me. It’s humbling. I really don’t think the negative stereotypes about females are true. It seems to me they are angelic beings.

** Meat is the name of a human friend. A lady.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Videos

Pieces (Video)

I have been meaning to publish this for a month but I hate dealing with images of myself so much that I always procrastinate. Hearing myself sing makes me feel weird too.

Also, things have been so strange recently that I haven’t been able to play music until today, when finally I climbed back into being myself.

2020 was a weird year for many people due to all these bad planets forming a single mega-planet in the grim sign of Capricorn. It had been a dark year for me filled with many fears, mostly relating to money, marriage, totalitarian governments and eternal boredom. When I realized a couple of these planets were about to be moving into Aquarius- breaking up this monster after a year of total darkness- I got a little carried away with celebrating & think I accidentally got possessed by something in the process.

Which is why I have spent the last month setting up my Cardano stake pool & promoting it, trying to get people to stake, helping them with technical difficulties etc. If you knew me, you would realize how completely out of character this is. I would wake up in the morning, start watching tech videos & be at it- learning and helping others- until 5 am. Suddenly it was really easy for me to learn & understand these things. I found them interesting. It was very odd considering how much I hate all things tech. I can barely bring myself to record my own songs.

Eventually though, I was so different from my regular self that I started to get worried. I was so mental- basically 100% brain. I couldn’t even relate to the idea of ever having been a musician. Plus, I couldn’t turn it off. Solving tech problems & learning from dusk till dawn. I started to feel like the girl in that fairy tale who puts on dancing shoes that make her dance until she drops dead.

So, I tried to do an intervention on myself. I took down all the Aquarian things I had hung up on my walls so they are blank pink slates again. A few days later, I am starting to go back to normal. Luckily, I seem to have retained what I learned, so maybe I can be myself AND a tech zillionaire.

As you know, dying of poverty has been one of my dominant fears over the past few years, so to have hope of a different future feels…. well, it feels like the darkness has ended. And hope is actually what Aquarius stands for.

I LOVE YOU AQUARIUS! I’M SORRY FOR ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID ABOUT YOU IN THE PAST!! Thank you for being my friend.


Live in a sea of broken glass
Pieces were shining everywhere
Somebody turned to walk around
Somebody watching from the stairs

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Watching the moonlight dripping down
Watching the starlight spin away
Everything moves around and round
Never a way to make you stay

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Mirrors were broken on the ground
Pick up a piece to keep me sound
You leave the room and then you’re gone
Watching the walls spin round & round

How can I not believe in you?
You were the one man standing there
Everyone knows the things you do
But underneath it all you care

Swim in a sea of broken glass
Throwing the rainbows on the wall
Breathing so hard I have to gasp
Caught in the ecstasy I fall

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire Videos

Fall (Video)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9dCbChTVxg

For a sign
Some people complain about time, boy
I could always see what was mine, boy
I could stand for ever and just watch the stars unwind.

For a name,
A piece of gold to hold in the rain, boy
So buy up all the land you can claim, boy
I will stay behind you in the darkness and I’ll pray-

Pray to men that live in water, men that live in dreams
Show me how to love and conquer, show me what it truly means to

Fall
Show me how to fall.

For a dream
To chase after that glittering gleam, boy
Though things will never be as they seem, boy
Diamonds in your hand evaporating into steam.

And a fate
You can’t stand beside the water and wait, boy
Not many in this world who are brave, boy
I will stay behind you in the darkness and I’ll pray-

Pray to stars that keep us shining, pooling in the night
Stars of love and stars of violence, show me how to truly fight and

Fall
Show me how to fall.

Then the mist
It will flow around you like this, boy
Your thoughts will start to garble and twist, boy
Feeling with your hand to find the something you have missed.

Then the night
It starts when you get used to the light, boy
Then things will start to dim but not quite, boy
Feeling with your hand you realize that you are dying…

But are you dying from asphyxiation, dying from a flood?
Dying for a drop of luster, dying for some blood?

I will hold you in my mind then, shining like a dream
Emerald lights upon your shoulder- shining like an emerald king and

Fall
Show me how to fall.