brave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9dCbChTVxg

For a sign
Some people complain about time, boy
I could always see what was mine, boy
I could stand for ever and just watch the stars unwind.

For a name,
A piece of gold to hold in the rain, boy
So buy up all the land you can claim, boy
I will stay behind you in the darkness and I’ll pray-

Pray to men that live in water, men that live in dreams
Show me how to love and conquer, show me what it truly means to

Fall
Show me how to fall.

For a dream
To chase after that glittering gleam, boy
Though things will never be as they seem, boy
Diamonds in your hand evaporating into steam.

And a fate
You can’t stand beside the water and wait, boy
Not many in this world who are brave, boy
I will stay behind you in the darkness and I’ll pray-

Pray to stars that keep us shining, pooling in the night
Stars of love and stars of violence, show me how to truly fight and

Fall
Show me how to fall.

Then the mist
It will flow around you like this, boy
Your thoughts will start to garble and twist, boy
Feeling with your hand to find the something you have missed.

Then the night
It starts when you get used to the light, boy
Then things will start to dim but not quite, boy
Feeling with your hand you realize that you are dying…

But are you dying from asphyxiation, dying from a flood?
Dying for a drop of luster, dying for some blood?

I will hold you in my mind then, shining like a dream
Emerald lights upon your shoulder- shining like an emerald king and

Fall
Show me how to fall.

At the time I wrote this song, I was very into soldiers. I had recently read Gandhi’s biography, and he talked about how he thought of himself as a soldier and tried to live accordingly.

I also tried to be a soldier, and pushed myself to be brave as much as possible, which caused me to have no respect for men whose primary goal in life was to pleasure themselves.

But, being by nature shy and cowardly, it took A LOT of work to be brave, and in the end wasn’t worth it… just like a naturally plump person trying to be super thin, or a skeletal person trying to be obese, it is bound to cause some strain when you try to diverge too much from your nature.

So, I had to come up with many crutches to help me push beyond my emotional comfort zone, such as taking ice cold baths (covering my whole body, including head dunks), and eating insane amounts of ginger. I disliked ginger, but found that if I ate enough (and it took a LOT) I was no longer able to feel butterflies in my stomach, just a warm gingery sensation.

I guess the Shanghai Trio were the embodiment of who I was trying to be- three beings dressed in red, made of fire, and afraid of nothing.

Download MP3: Shanghai Trio