This past week it has felt impossible to detach from world events, as though a forcefield above my head was compelling me to pay attention & get involved. This has been interspersed with waves of tears. I hope current events are just a blip which soon blows over. But sometimes there is the panicked fear that things have gone too far and we can never go back. I don’t know which is real, but I believe people always have to fight for what is good, regardless. I doubt God likes surrender monkeys.
Perhaps most disturbing is the suppression of speech. So many people suddenly being removed from twitter, facebook & youtube. The President himself, random conservatives like Ron Paul, youtube channels which covered election fraud (nothing screams This Election Wasn’t Fraudulent like erasing all fraud related content). In fact I got removed from Facebook myself while writing this. It is just for 24 hours, but I won’t be surprised if a permanent ban is around the corner. They took down the entire platform of Parler which was dedicated to non-censorship. Can you believe this is our new reality? I can’t. And when I think about all the places it could lead it is hard not to cry. I guess I always took freedom of speech for granted. Now I find I am censoring myself even in private conversations- oh don’t use that violent metaphor- facebook might be reading this. Oh don’t use the color black as an adjective- they might think you are racist. Everything you say in private could be released publicly. Phrases which are socially acceptable when you use them could be dredged up years in the future to show you are a horrible person.
Do you ever try googling something then realize that all 100,000,000 articles which pop up are saying the exact same thing? Do you ever try to search for the other side of the coin and come up empty handed? Recently, I was googling to find out who killed Ashli Babbitt, for example, and all I could find were articles on what a bad person she was. She had road rage. She believed in conspiracies. It was her own damn fault some creepy guy wearing a suit & black gloves suddenly stepped out from around the corner to shoot her dead. Never mind that she was just doing what people have been doing all year. Never mind that she was unarmed & he gave her no warning, no chance to retreat. Never mind that there were three cops standing behind her, not trying to restrain her nor seeming particularly disturbed by her presence. That bitch deserved what she got. And if you don’t agree you are a nazi.
And what is a nazi? A skinhead? A German nationalist from the 1940s who wants to take over the world and eliminate Jews? No one knows. It is a word. Castro’s supporters called their enemies ‘worms.’ Speech has officially divorced physical reality. There are no truths or lies anymore, because most things have no specific meaning to begin with. You are a nazi! You are a white supremacist! You don’t believe in Science!!! You don’t believe in Climate Change!!! You don’t believe gender is assigned at birth!!! You don’t believe Experts!!! When you break them things down, none of these claims really have a concrete meaning, making it impossible to defend oneself against them. And also impossible to be sincere in claiming them.
And then we have the weird magic of believing words change reality. Pronouns change a person’s gender. Calling Ashli Babbitt a terrorist overrides the fact that she was entering unarmed into a building full of trained soldiers. Saying Trump was calling for violence overrides the fact that his final tweets (the ones which got him banned) were calling for peace & telling protesters to go home. Saying the word science makes something science. Science is no longer the study of the material world. It is a word on a rainbow flag, tattooed on the hearts of Believers. Call a person a white supremacist and they are one. In fact the only way to NOT be a white supremacist is to believe that we live in a white supremacy and attack others for their role in this.
Basically, nothing makes sense anymore. It is both rage-filled and nonsensical like a dark Alice in Wonderland, my least favorite book of all time. I have a soft gelatinous head and I hate it when people lie. It makes me feel all pretzeled up.
Another thing tying me in knots is that I still have an emotional attachment to people on the left. I grew up in a republican house & always idealized democrats as tender-hearted unicorn people. Now I see them scapegoating conservatives- as though to lay down justifications for future violence against them. (He was a nazi! She was a white supremacist!). And I don’t know how to process this. These are people I have LIKED. In some cases, a LOT. And now they are casting me and others I care for in a subhuman light, reality be damned. I want to believe it is a spell they are under and soon they will wake up. I just wish I could understand it and make some sense of it in my mind. I thought they used to be nice normal people. What happened? When and how did they decide they are surrounded by nazis and white supremacists whom they must defeat? If I could just understand and make some sense of my reality I would feel a lot better. Then I would know if I need to cut them out of my heart for good or just wait for the spell to break.
Category: Writings
(Warning- this post involves astrology, but should be understandable- I think- to someone with no interest in the subject. When I reference ‘Pisces’ I am not referring to Pisces People- i.e. those born when the Sun was in Pisces- but rather to the sign itself, which is currently in control of the group mind.*)
Could anything be more annoyingly Piscean than the phrase “Stay at home, save lives.”?
On the one hand, Pisces has a Christ complex. It wants to be seen as compassionate, saintly, hovering above the unevolved hordes. On the other hand, Pisces hates to actually get up off the couch, unless there is a 25 dollar smoothie made of endangered berries to drink.
And now, with Neptune in Pisces we have discovered a way to be passive, pathetic, yet heroic and grandiose at the same time! Lack of engagement has become a virtue. Just by doing nothing, or perhaps wearing a lace veil over your face while you shop, you too can be a saint. People who want to venture out into the world and engage, or even take an active role in questioning pumped out narratives are now the bad ones. Murderers versus the life savers who sit at home watching tv.
So small businesess fail. Oh well, that is a small price to pay for saving lives. So 130 million additional people descend into starvation this year. A small price as well. People with other diseases can no longer get the health care they need. Well, who cares- is life about health? People lose jobs, but really, is life about working? People can’t buy food- does this matter, when the forest is full of mushrooms & the seas full of fish? People cannot afford heat- but isn’t it selfish to consider body temperature when lives are at stake?
Really, when dealing with Pisces, it makes no difference what is said. You may as well just say Toodle Oodles & attach a bunch of flower emojis. Pisces is directly opposite Virgo- the sign of facts. In the Pisces realm, facts do not exist. To call Pisces a liar would be an understatement. It simply has no relationship to truth. It will say anything. If you attempt to engage with the Piscean forces in a rational way, you begin to feel you are losing your mind. It swirls, mutates and contradicts itself without a hint of remorse. What is the primary motive of this sign? I’m not sure yet. Sometimes it seems as though it is motivated to feel good about itself and so rearranges objective reality to achieve that goal. There can also be a bit of a death wish with Pisces, since reality is the exact thing it is trying to escape from.
Pisces is also notable for a complete lack of responsibility. (Once again, responsibility falls under the realm of Virgo- Pisces’ opposite.) People talk about how badly 2020 sucked as though we are helpless potatoes on whom a bad year was unleashed. Granted, 2020 was incredibly harsh from an astrology perspective, but to a large extent it sucked because we made dumb choices. We didn’t speak up for what we thought was right or have the balls to act on it. We hedged and hawed, trying to find a middle ground between appeasement and integrity. Collectively passivity. Collective patheticism. Now we can’t just sit on our hands now waiting to see how 2021 will turn out- we must take active responsibility in shaping it. Cry in your bubble bath at night if you must, but when dealing with the social world, don’t be an effiminate defeatist sitting on your hands! We are the ones who shape society and we can’t speak of it as though it exists outside our personal choices.
Of course, Pisces does has a good side (yawn). Its drive to escape reality and become something more than mundane pushes it into the realms of imagination, spirituality and other worlds, where it can break new ground. Its desire to isolate provides space for healing emotional wounds. Still, Pisces is forever tripping on acid and should never EVER be allowed to take the wheel where practical things are concerned, especially in matters involving economy and health (once again ruled by Virgo).
The ultimate irony is that Pisces needs the mundane practicality of Virgo, however much it rebels against it. Were Pisces to achieve its goal of gumming up the gears of society until the whole thing came to a halt, there would be no floating into the hazy, half-baked world of Pisces’ dreams. Instead, things would get real fast. No more sofas. No more smoothies. No more Compassion bumper stickers. I don’t think soft and sluggish Pisces will be happy in the world he is creating at all.
* Neptune represents the group mind and whichever sign Neptune currently resides in determines the ideals of the collective. Neptune entered blobular Pisces in 2012 and will remain there until 2024.
And one more thing… My official opinion on how to end this madness…
As Pisces relentlessly attacks Virgo, seeking to undermine everything practical & grounded, the temptation is to fight back from a Virgoic position. But it is questionable if you can truly combat irrationality with rationality. It almost seems to create a stand off in which the rational party becomes exhausted dropping endless amounts of facts & logic into a swirling pit of absurdity.
My current view is that the antidote to the excesses of every sign lie in the sign that follows.** Hence, Aries- the combative fireball who speaks with his fists, refuses to be placed on the sidelines, and sees risk as the very heart of life- may be the only one who can save us and break the Virgo-Pisces standoff.
It is only a few years (2024) until Neptune moves into Aries anyway and brave, warlike qualities will be celebrated far and wide. So why not get a jump start on the trend and become a manly warrior now while all your friends are still clutching their infected blankets? If we can pick up these active virtues sooner rather than later, perhaps we can prevent the worst from happening.
More on Neptune in Pisces.
Tips on preparing for Neptune entering Aries.
** One way to understand the zodiac is to see each sign as a natural reaction to the sign that came before.
Under Libra, superficiality starts to get so out of hand that people can’t bear it. So they decide to form real connections and Scorpio is born. But these real connections start to get so intense and all encompassing that people can no longer breath. Finally one of them moves to another country. Now Sagittarius has been born. And so on and so forth.
I pretty much need help because I have developed a bad social media addiction. I would feel humiliated to reveal the full extent of it. I don’t know how it crept up on me exactly, perhaps total isolation in a freezing cold house (no heat) made a warm bubbly place full of strangers feel too cozy to pass up.
Part of what makes it addicting could be the inability to ever quite get what I am looking for… but what am I looking for? I don’t know. I feel confused. Yesterday I tried flirting with a couple of the fake widowers who are all over facebook trying to scam women for money. One was Nigerian and one was Arabic, I think. (Both pretended to be American.) They were condescending assholes. I assumed if you were trying to take someone’s money you would have to sweet talk them a little. Instead they called me names like “Big Fat Liar” and insisted I was “dead wrong” about the meaning of the color red. (Howard was sure it meant love, while I was certain it meant the blood of the martyrs.) They were dominating though. I kind of liked that. And I can’t remember the last time a person asked me about my favorite color was or what I liked to do for fun. So that was nice.
Maybe I will start talking to these scammers more until I understand how their minds work. Then I could maximize the amount of attention I get before revealing that I have no money. (They dump you at that point.) When I told Howard I had no money he said I must be lying. After all ‘You are an artist.’ I had to convince him that singing a song does not magically cause money to appear.
I wonder if I would like scamming people for money? Criminals seem to use more of their brains than the insects who just get caught in their webs. Maybe I want to be the web spinner for once. Maybe it would feel amazing.
At any rate, I may try writing more on this website to see if it can help me break my addiction. But I feel I will be annoying people if I write too much here. At least on social media anything you say is ancient history within a few hours. But I worry it is rewiring my brain. My attention span seems to be getting shorter and shorter and I have started to think in soundbites. Plus, it brings out the part of my personality that plays too much to the crowd until eventually I have no idea what I am saying or why. I don’t know if I am speaking my own thoughts or just the thoughts that someone somewhere is suppressing.
The good part, though, is that it is more out of control while my website is entirely under my control. I don’t really like being in control. I guess that is ultimately what I am seeking there. I want someone else to take me to a place that is new to me. But that never happens. There are many people there, but generally they all say the same things. It is impersonal. No money changes hands. I liked it when Howard said “Music softens the spirit.” That was at least something I had never heard before. And I appreciated it that he was trying to rob me, in a sense. At least he was trying to do something.
One disturbing trend I have noticed recently is the re-emergence of the word Karen after a few months of lying low.
The first time I heard this word it gave me chills, despite it’s mild exterior. It raises so many questions.
Why- at a time when speech is being suppressed left and right- do we need a slur for people who want to talk to the manager (aka someone willing to question authority)?
Why is this slur directed at the sex which generally has the hardest time being assertive to begin with?
Why did they choose a name that sounds so much like Caring? Why did they choose a mother of eight to be the face of this slur?
Why are slurs being invented to specifically target white women at the exact time when using slurs against other groups will cost you your job and reputation?
Is it a coincidence that this slur came to prominence right before mandatory masking & social distancing began? First you are shamed for being voicy, then measures are taken which make it physically difficult to have one. Now you can only communicate through social media- and they clamp down harder on free speech everyday.
If there was ever a time we needed women who care enough to speak out, it would be now.
And still it is peculiar that they choose to target females. Why? I think there are several reasons…
1. Women are probably more suggestive and susceptible to shaming.
2. Women are the primary communicators of the human race. Men generally take bold action *after* a period of females expressing dissatisfaction with the status quo. Women are birds who control the flow of information through the group mind.
3. If you can get men to start using the word Karen & denigrating women with voices then BAM their balls fall off. Because it seems to me that displaying some degree of gallantry* towards women is necessary for men to access their full masculine powers. So by getting men to sneer at ‘Karens’ you have managed to emasculate men & muzzle women in one swoop.
* I would like to clarify what I mean about gallantry since it has, in my mind, two divergent meanings. One form of gallantry is when men court women in a flowery fashion. This is frequently accompanied by anger if women do not respond in the desired way or conduct themselves in a manner that men consider feminine.
What I mean by gallantry is closer to tolerance. I believe men should give women a long leash to be themselves & speak their minds despite the fact that it may cause men discomfort. The fact that women are weaker than men makes them more sensitive instruments. They know things men can’t know & perceive things men can’t perceive. Without the unfiltered insights of women, it seems doubtful that men can achieve true wisdom.
Women need this intersex communication as well, because men’s minds seem to have extra connection points to physical reality which enable them to turn perceptions & nebulous things into practical courses of action.
And the key to this process is men being manly enough to be able to take women in their unfiltered state. The true danger to a man is not a Karen, but a woman who plays to his ego, causing it to swell with infected pus. Other than this flattery based trickery, men don’t generally have much to fear from women. So why NOT let women exist outside of man made judgments? This may be the only thing which prevents men from boring themselves to death.
So please, in conclusion, may all humans recognize the role of women as the birds & barometers of the human race & refuse to take part in shaming them into a deadly silence.
Categories
Secret Enemies
Well, I finally forced myself to do an esp journal to see what is going on above my head and it appears the newest thing is that I have a lot of secret enemies, who appear like colored clouds floating above my head, some with lightning bolts contained within the cloud but not striking. I guess they are just waiting for the right time.
Astrologically I have been having a transit (Pluto on Mercury)* which causes a person to speak more forcibly & creates secret enemies since being outspoken alienates people, while seeming forceful motivates them to oppose you in sneaky ways rather than openly.
I used to have people attacking me directly all the time. “You’re the dumbest person I ever met.” “Who wants to hear a nazi singing?” etc etc. It was constant, probably because while I expressed opinions I also tried to be overly nice, making me an easy target. Then I became friends with a bunch of feminists who would constantly go ballistic on people and that started to get me more comfortable with the idea of standing up for myself. The feminists scorned those who coddled male egos, calling them ball palmers & hand maidens. This inspired me to stop my incessant ass kissing. Which caused me to lose most of my male friends.
Now, a year or so later, people open direct fire on me much more rarely. But not because they like me better. Just because they are waiting for their moment to Ceasar me. In many cases I know their identities. But one of the great mysteries of life has always been what you are supposed to do if you know someone is going to commit a crime that they haven’t yet committed? You can’t exactly punish them ahead of time. And if you start cutting people off for things they haven’t yet done, everyone will assume you are paranoid. But just sitting on your hands & waiting for someone to murder you also seems pretty lame.
A few years ago I didn’t even believe in enemies, although looking back, I definitely had them. Just the word enemies would have seemed a bit dirty to me. In fact I still feel pangs of guilt for using such an unladylike word rather than pretending that we are All One. But whatever. God devoted 2 out of his 12 starry houses to them and I am sure he knew what he was doing.
Sometimes enemies may even be preferable to friends because they encourage cunning & self reliance rather than bleeding yourself out for approval. You don’t have to merge with your enemies or give them 3/4 of your sandwich. Unless of course they are pretending to be your friends and you are going along with it, unsure of what else to do.
This past year has been all about females, but this coming year I hope to interact with more males because I feel they have the type of knowledge I need. They don’t seem to lose a sense of their individual identity in the way that women do.
* In case you care about astrology, technically Pluto is sextiling my Mercury. I don’t share the popular opinion that sextiles are positive.
My view on sextiles is that they give you baby challenges which allow you to learn important lessons in a relatively safe setting. For example, the enemies I currently deal with pose no mortal threat to me. (I hope.) If I wanted to I could dismiss them as being too trivial to care about. If I did this, however, I would not learn lessons which will be vital when Pluto squares Mercury. During squares & opposition, failure has real consequences.
Therefore, I always take the events of sextiles seriously- at least from a learning perspective- and try to get things right, so I will be ready when life gets real.
I haven’t felt capable of writing in here for a while because all these heavy things have been hanging over my head. Literally. Gray clouds & brown boxes. Bars & tubes stuck into my skull, driving me insane.
I assume the gray clouds are depressive thoughts of which I’m not consciously aware. The boxes probably contain psychic junk I have been suppressing. The metal bars extend to various people & represent the pressure I feel to please them. The hollow tubes contain thoughts & perspectives pumped directly into my head.
At least I think this is the case. I haven’t taken the time to carefully dig into these things because there is just too much heavy stuff there & it feels unbearably tedious to sift through it all.
So it has been sitting there, having a slightly discouraging effect upon me, making me doubt the value of anything I could express and also the value of those I would be expressing to.
It hasn’t been the best time ever when it comes to relationships.
For starters James has been going through the darkest period a man lives through in a 264 period (Pluto on moon) also known as the Wife Beating transit. And I’ve been stuck in a house with him night & day.
Secondly, the political situation- shutdowns etc- has me on edge. I feel nervous that you are expected to accept the government’s increasing control without question. I can’t bring myself to wear a mask- because I believe something sketchy is underway- and this makes me seem like an asshole to others. And people already think I am an asshole for supporting Trump which bums me out as well.
But the fact is basic freedoms- such as free speech & the ability to live life on my own terms- are very important to me. I don’t want to live in North Korea. And this makes me a nazi klansman in the eyes of most people I know, making me feel even more isolated.
And on a personal level these past months have released a series of events which made me realize most people I believed to be friends were actually enemies from the beginning. All this has me doubting how many good people actually exist in the world. Is everyone your enemy once you get to know them? Or am I just doing something majorly wrong?
Regardless though, I know I must push through these gray clouds & attempt to express myself, if only to provide balls for my enemies’ cannons.
Because I do believe in life. I know there is a higher purpose and our actions matter. We have to place our faith in doing the right thing, letting the chips fall where they may when it comes to peoples’ reactions.
And I also believe in people because they are made in Life’s image. Still this faith is a muscle I have to consciously exercise. I think the most important part of writing is summoning in your mind an image of an ideal audience that you are writing to. People who are caring, interested, thoughtful…. whatever qualities excite you. These imaginary people become your muse.
Sometimes you imagine specific people have these qualities and you make them your muse. Sometimes you find out they never had those qualities to begin with and it feels as though a piece of your muse has been lost. I guess that is what has been happening to me.
But then you summon your faith again and once again imagine a beautiful golden blob of humanity dangling above your head, filled with endless possibility. People so inviting you want to tell them everything.
Have you noticed people being much angrier than usual in recent years and that this anger is generally directed towards government, authority figures, statues, rich people and anyone who holds a position of prestige in society?
Astrologically, this is due to Pluto moving through the sign of Capricorn, which it entered in 2008 and will remain in until 2024. Pluto is the planet which causes repressed rage to rush to the surface and it is currently surfacing repressed emotions of a Capricornian nature.
Capricorn rules authority, career, fame, respect and success. Having a place in society. Being somebody. So basically this is a time when all pent up feelings relating to an inability to be someone who matters are bubbling to the surface.
This is why, currently, the angriest people are frequently those who work in fields where it is quite difficult to achieve a position of respect and stability- music, the arts, restaurants etc. Feeling unable to fulfill their Capricornian urges, they prefer to watch things burn to the ground as a form of catharsis.
From a rational perspective, it is quite likely that ‘toppling the system’ would place these people in a much WORSE positions. But Pluto is not a rational planet. He is famous for being willing to destroy himself so long as he can take down others in the process. He is known for lashing out blindly at anyone who makes him feel his inner anguish.
The best way to deal with Pluto however, is not to take your frustrations out on statues and Jeff Bezos, but rather become aware of buried feelings & motivations. You want to BE that noble statue. You want to BE that powerful rich guy. But wrong ideas have led you to believe this is impossible so you comfort yourself by believing these things are your enemies rather than your own secret desires.
Don’t despair though. You are in luck, because it is actually quite simple to find the sense of importance you are seeking and the sign of Capricorn can show you how.
You see, seeking respect in the eyes of others is actually a warped expression of Capricorn. What Capricorn actually stands for is the ability to build something of value. Something you can take pride in. Something that makes the world a better place. Frequently this will cause people to become respected by others but that is just a side effect. The sense of worth Capricorn seeks actually comes from the work itself- never from how others regard you. And working towards something meaningful is within the grasp of every person.
It matters not how privileged you are, nor if the work of your hands be grand or humble. Capricorn favors the poor, so a poor person who manages to save the life of one turkey is just as important in his eyes as the billionaire who runs an endangered species preserve.
The important thing is to consider what you feel you should give to the world and then get to work giving it. It could be anything. Making people smile. Raising kids. Learning to live off the land. Translating obscure Greek texts. Learning how to get rich. Anything which requires you to make an effort is worthy.
There are a couple dumb ideas in circulation though, which I feel need to be cleared up so that people realize how easy it actually is to be someone of value.
DUMB IDEA #1 You need to do the thing you love.
This is a definite no. Capricorn rules your life’s work and he is by no means the sign of fun and pleasure. He is a sign of virtue, hard work, duty and sacrifice. So forget about your “bliss.” Consider what you feel you SHOULD do, what you COULD do, what you secretly suspect may be your calling even if it seems a bit odd or out of step with how you normally think about yourself.
Worry not as to whether or not your calling seems enjoyable or torturous. If you believe it is meaningful, then welcome pain, boredom & tedium with open arms. Activities done in a spirit of duty tend to become more pleasurable over time.
DUMB IDEA #2 You need to make money doing the thing you love.
This is an even worse idea which greatly limits a person’s ability to contribute. Capricorn is about what you GIVE to society. Not what you RECEIVE. Sometimes a person’s vocation and avocation may be the same thing, but frequently they are not. In many cases, a person pours their money INTO their calling as opposed to receiving money from it.
Maybe you are called to befriend those in prison by writing them letters. Maybe you will open a Turkey Refuge for rescued thanksgiving turkeys and take a second job at McDonalds to fund your efforts. Consider famous people throughout history and you will see it is practically a minority who made their living off their famed contributions. Nobody paid Newton to discover gravity nor did Orpheus make money from trying to lead his true love out of hell.
Capricorn is about what you put into the world, not what you take out of it. Self-esteem comes from what you give to the world, not from what the world gives you.
So to summarize, if you are one of the people who finds themselves dissatisfied with the status quo, consider that this may be an expression of your own frustrated success drive. And consider that if you place your focus on your life’s work itself- however humble- that no one has the power to stop you from doing something meaningful and building an existence you can feel proud of. Maybe you will be a prisoner who inspires others with your creative prison cell decorations. Maybe you will be a prisoner who teaches other prisoners how to connect with Jesus. Maybe you will be a prisoner who heal’s broken hearts through your sexual touch. It is a certainty that no matter who you are and where you are there is something meaningful you can do.
And perhaps years down the road your contributions will be recognized and rewarded. But by the time this happens, you probably will not care anymore, because you have already found a way to find worth and meaning in your own efforts.
Personally, I think Capricorn tends to delay external rewards until a person reaches the point where they no longer seek them. Being celebrated & even appreciated too early in the process of walking one’s own path can have a warping effect, causing a person to subconsciously start playing to the crowd. And integrity to ones own vision + persistence upon one’s unique path are possibly the attributes the Crusty Goat likes best.
Related post…. The Yellows
A love song inspired by Capricorn… Bone to Bone
I feel like people are trying to fix the masculine side of society- the economy, the government etc, when that isn’t what is broken. On a material level, we do pretty well in America with most people able to achieve a reasonable degree of prosperity through hard work. Even the poor can get fat.
It is the feminine side of life where the problems lie. People don’t feel good about life. They have low self esteem. They feel like something is missing. I believe the solution is to stop the degradation of women since they hold the key to our emotional and spiritual well being.
Right now, there is lots of talk about the need to have more female leaders, ceos, scientists etc. But herding more women into dull masculine professions will not bring about the desired changes. It may make life feel even more hollow than before. What women need is that we push back against the forces that erode their sense self-worth,* such as Hollywood, the music and fashion industries, etc. It is the subjective side of life- art, design, fashion, psychology- which needs to be freed from the forces of capitalism and masculinity.** Rather than pushing women INTO masculine domains, why not push men OUT of the feminine realms?***
The problem with men controlling the subjective realms of life (which for the sake of brevity I will refer to as “culture”) is that their masculine, egoic nature will naturally seek a way to harness these energies for personal power, glory, and control- all positive aims when they are operating in masculine realms. The true purpose of culture, though, is to release us from the emotional cage of civilization and reconnect us to a source of magic and healing- the Other World- from which we emerged. To free us from the oppression of social judgments and reconnect us with our source.
This is why the objectification of women is so dangerous. On the surface it may seem like a superficial issue- less important than war and the economy- but in reality when we make females doubt their beauty and their value- or when we give them the message that these things decrease rather than grow with time- we dishearten them to the extent that they are no longer able to fulfill their natural role in society- which is to connect us to nature. Both our inner nature and the true nature of life. It is only this connection to nature which can bring peace and true fulfillment.
Women bring beauty and depth to life in a way men can’t because their egos are weaker and their connection to the inner worlds is stronger (hence why they have holes rather than poles.) To objectify them is to hypnotize them into a state of narcissistic self-consciousness which runs counter to their true power. In this state, they struggle to be free and creative in the way that is natural to them. Fixated on themselves, they lack the energy to bring to life those things which bring joy and meaning. Forced into an unnatural state of competition they are no longer able to heal others. Without the unique contributions of females, life becomes dry and even men can no longer achieve satisfaction from their masculine achievements.
When men control the arts, for example, art becomes a competitive sport. People struggle to outdo each other in skill, artistry and innovation. The struggle for competence and domination is male nature. Or things may go one step further- as they have in Hollywood and the fashion industry- with men using their creations as Trojan horses bearing toxic messages designed to disempower the population as a whole. In many cases, these poison arrows are aimed right at women. Maybe because they are extra-susceptible due to their softer nature. Or maybe because the culture lords know that women must be displaced so that they can dicktate values and control the subjective realm in women’s place.
But true art is not about self-serving messages hidden within an artistic facade. True art carries messages from the heart or from realms which bring healing or a greater connection to life. Art is meant to FREE us from the judgments and spiritual toxins of society- not reinforce them. Whereas a masculine art tends to reinforce these judgments as the artists struggle to outdo one another in their ability to embody group values.
Currently, our culture lords present women with two main avenues for achieving value. 1. Achieve a sexy appearance by conforming to their artificially constructed ideals. 2. Prove ourselves in the masculine realms by having a successful career and making lots of money. Or even better, do both!
But neither of these are feminine aims.**** Females like to connect, heal, deepen, and beautify. And beauty- from a female perspective- is very different from the ideas promoted by the phallocratic culture gods. To them, beauty is superficial and hierarchical, based on how perfectly you approach an ideal of their determination. It is basically a competitive sport.
In a feminine sense, beauty is that which brings an inner sense of harmony, peace and healing, regardless of how rough or primitive the container may be. Interior design by males for example, tends to be ridiculously impressive to the eye and mind. Interior design by females (if they aren’t trying to compete within a male industry) would probably not impress and yet somehow create a feeling of comfort and home. Males use “beauty” to impress and intimidate. But I don’t believe that is true beauty. True beauty is what makes us whole on the inside.
So, basically, I don’t believe anyone will be healed by socialism. It will only undermine the masculine side of life while doing nothing to uplift the feminine. But we could create change by pushing back against messages which degrade and objectify women. Women should not feel their beauty and value is something to be proven. We are the EMBODIMENT of value and beauty. Whatever we are is what beauty is.
It is the nature of beauty to carry us some place new and this can only happen when you open your mind to see the perfection of what is, rather than trying to find something which adheres to your own suffocating judgments. When you seek that which reflects your own opinions and judgments beauty will always elude you. That which is perfect by your own standards is merely a reflection of your own limitations and has nothing to offer you.
This same principle applies in art. When we look for art which is good, skillful and impressive, we are only looking for that which holds us in place. The only way to travel someplace new is to appreciate that which does NOT appear to live up to your wonderful notions.
This is why art, as well as women, must be freed from masculine judgments. We need things in life which are wild, which can be appreciated but not judged, and therefore allow us to travel beyond ourselves.
THE END
*I realize I am writing as though women are helpless victims but that isn’t how I see things. I believe women have the power to wake ourselves from our own hypnotic slumber. But I also believe any male who helps women to value rather than degrade themselves will be rewarded. Because the essence of femaleness is to reward back manifold any good thing that is put into them.
**I am very much in favor of capitalism, but do feel it has spiritual dangers. For example, humans can come to believe that value itself can be determined by the market, which in essence makes popular opinion the benchmark of value, something we all know is disastrous..
** I’m not literally suggesting we push males out of the arts because then we would miss the raw, pulsing expression of red dick energy and the golden intricacy of masculine skill. .
**** I realize aims vary according the individual. But qualifying every statement is tedious.
Recently my mind has been so overloaded it is hard to function. It feels like all I have to do is briefly consider something, and I start to get bombarded with information and insights concerning the object of focus. So I have been putting a bit of my focus on astrology, just as a way of channeling this energy.
And when I connect my mind to one of the planets, I don’t just get abstract insights but also ones regarding my own life. Like, a few days ago I realized my financial problems are rooted in the fact that I attempt to use money to impress others in order to ensure my place in the community and thus my personal safety.
I remember the moment in high school when decided I would use money this way. I realized people saw me as being weird and that this could be a problem on multiple fronts. But I also noticed that wearing polished, conservative and stuffy clothes could override the messages my personality put out- or at least cast them in a more flattering light. So, I made a little vow to myself I would always wear clothes that were as normal and pompous as possible. This would be my way of staying safe in the world. I later extended this vow to include all other possessions. It certainly seemed to me that- as an adult- people look to your home, your car, your style of decorating etc, to determine the sort of person you are and how much respect and consideration they should give you.
One thing about being “weird” is that people are likely to reach the conclusion that you are either stupid/insane or some kind of a genius. I have been cast at both ends of this spectrum and- until recently- it seemed to me that an association with money and status would make people more likely to reach for the genius category.
When I was in high school though, seeming intelligent was the least of my concerns. I was branded intelligent at a young age and as long as I went to the same k-12 school with the same group of people, there was little I could do to change that (slightly disagreeable) perception.
At that point, I mostly wanted to fit in. A few years later, my main concern became mateability. It felt like- after looks- a normal personality was the most valuable quality a female could possess. And clothes were the easiest way to accomplish this, since if I focused on acting super normal, it almost seemed to have the opposite effect. Whereas if you wore normal clothes and tried not to say anything, what could go wrong? This is probably why my first boyfriend dumped me for not having a personality.
Eventually, though, I realized men will still mate with you if you seem odd. Some might even like it. Nonetheless, I continued to feel that seeming as normal (which to me meant wealthy, stuffy, snobby, preppy, conservative) as possible was critical to survival. I was terrified of James dying and being left destitute on my own to roam the streets. (He is my only friend and only family member.) It seemed that a poised and dignified person (ie a nicely dressed person surrounded by stuffy and valuable possessions) would be more likely to garner social support than someone drooling on themselves in an oversized tshirt and no pants. Winning the sympathy of strangers in case of an emergency became my new motivation for wanting to be normal.
A few days ago- after getting in touch with a planet-I had the opportunity to go to Walmart. Since I don’t drive, any time I have the opportunity to visit a store, it feels like a holiday. While admiring all the beautiful things on display, it hit me like a lightening bolt that I struggle financially because I am always buying the wrong things. My attempts to use money to impress others were causing the planets to block me from having any.
I started filling up a cart with everything pastel pink and lavender. It felt like breathing oxygen. Then I left the cart in the middle of the store since I couldn’t pay for it, but did take home a few gems, such as pink notebooks covered in baby kittens- the very sorts of things I try to avoid owning since I feel they will project “I have psychological problems and arrested development” out to the rest of the world.
Now, just to be clear- sticking to the rigid and pompous is what I felt I *should* do- not always what I did in practice. Half of my house and most of my wardrobe is light pink, and if it weren’t this way I couldn’t function at all. But I was always trying to push myself in the other direction- to get by with as little pink as possible. The things I imagined I would spend money on if I got rich were always those that would make me seem wealthy & calcified to others, so that I could finally feel safe. Because a wealthy person- a woman of dignity and grace- will never be left to die on the streets.
But I have come to believe that-although the planets each have their own energy and character- they are working together as a team to accomplish the same goal. The goal being that each person fulfill their own destiny and role in the scheme of life. And my desire to use money as a shield which could protect me from criticism and draw love and support is counter to my personal purpose. If I do manage to ever draw support from the outside world, it will have to be through expressing myself, not hiding behind a mountain of Rolexes.
In essence the planets are aligners. They live above our heads in the spiritual realms to enforce God’s plan and purpose. They can block or challenge us to bring us into alignment with divine plan. But the plan for each person is so unique. Certainly, there are some people who will ONLY achieve their purpose once they learn to hide behind a mountain of Rolexes and project a false image of wealth to impress people. I do not think expressing one’s inner self to the outer world should be the goal of all people.
Now only time will tell if my new understanding of money is superior to my old one!
I have more to say, but it is 4:25 am and getting to where I can hardly keep my eyes open. I can only hope I am still making sense. I will write more later. Thanks for listening!
The timing of most holidays makes perfect sense astrologically, except for Valentine’s Day. Why does the holiday of romantic love fall under the dry and mental sign of Aquarius? Aquarius is the opposite of candlelit dinners and gazing into eyes.
Aquarius is the love you feel for humanity while gazing at them from an airplane, causing each human to look like an indistinguishable dot. While Scorpio, the most romantic sign, lives to blow up buses of children to save their loved one, Aquarius will sacrifice their loved one to save the children. They love their girlfriend, of course, but they also love the children, the mailman, the hungry people living in China. Their love diffuses equally across all humans.*
Plus, Aquarius and its governing planet- Uranus- rule divorce and break-ups. Celebrating romantic love while they control the sky is not the safest thing to do.** So I would like to recommend a few safe, healthy and appropriate ideas for celebrating Valentine’s Day instead.
- In school, we celebrated this day by exchanging valentines with everyone in the class. We were required to give a valentine to everyone- no one excluded. A perfect expression of the Aquarian spirit. Aquarius rules friendship, brotherly love, platonic love diffused across groups.
- Aquarius rules all that is weird and new fangled. Why not buy strange little gadgety gifts for all your friends? Ideally new inventions that have just come on the market. And if you MUST get your spouse a gift, make it a technological one and leave the roses for a safer time of year.
- Since Aquarius spreads its love as thin and wide as possible, scrap dinner for two and get together with all your friends instead. If you belong to a club, this would be a great day for a club meeting or social event.
- Get a divorce. Dump your romantic partner. Breaking things off is what heartless Aquarius does best. If you are gonna do roses and candlelight, make sure it is for the purpose of telling someone goodbye.
Or simply use this day to cut unwanted friends out of your life. Send them a valentine to let them know you aren’t friends anymore. - Have an affair. This is one expression of romance that Aquarius can get behind. Aquarian affairs generally involve significant age gaps. Alternately, have an affair with someone who is very weird, bizarre looking, or completely different from you in a fundamental way.
Aquarian affairs are not about emotional depth or even sex, but just the stimulation and sense of aliveness that comes from connecting with a person who can break up the crusty patterns in your brain. - Get a mohawk. If you are being pelted by chaotic influences in your life (a sure sign that Uranus is in the house), doing something bizarre with your appearance can act as a lightening rod to safely absorb and express some of this energy.
So, if you are spending this day by yourself, consider dyeing your hair a strange color, getting piercings or tattoos, shopping for strange clothes and makeup or having futuristic nails applied. - Electrocute yourself. Or try any new fangled, futuristic form of self-care such as a leech facial, crystal healing, ear candling etc. Anything that is new and strange will do the trick.
- If you are hellbent on taking your love out on a date, play it safe by doing things which are unusual or Aquarian. Ride motorcycles, wear neon clothes, eat mystery meats, play laser tag. Or go to a shooting range. Aquarius rules everything electronic, all forms of transportation and all weaponry.
Or you could simply take a taxi to have dinner at an airport. Afterwards play video games. - While I would never encourage people to have sex on Valentine’s Day, I can’t stop them either. But to keep it safe, make sure to include weird toys and gadgets as part of your sexual activity. Or- if you are heterosexual- include a third party which will compel one of you be gay for the day.
Gay sex and weird sex is the only sex Aquarius approves of. - If you have been needing to come out of the close sexually, this would be a good day to do it. If there is anything odd about yourself which you have been hiding from the world, use this day to reveal it. Aquarius rewards the weird and those who are true to themselves.
- Lastly if-like me- you are lazy, just spend the day playing video games, especially new ones. This is always a safe way to discharge Aquarian energy.
Or if-like me- you hate video games, use this day to consult an astrologer, since astrologers fall under Aquarian rule.
Or if- like me- you are an astrologer- use this day to give free readings to as many faceless members of humanity as possible. A perfect way to express you dry and expansive love for the ants that surround you.
Please don’t judge me for the mess- this is Jame’s office & he doesn’t allow me to clean in there. Notice the tub of Vaseline though. That is a protective device designed to protect James from upcoming Pluto transits. I will write about that later!!! The furry thing is Patton. * Not everything I am saying about the constellation Aquarius will be reflective of those who were born with the sun in Aquarius. What we call our “sign” is only the sun’s position at our time of birth. Which represents only a fraction of our astrological make up.
** When I refer to safety, here is what I mean… astrological forces will find a way to express themselves one way or another. So when we offer them a healthy (or neutral) expression, it acts like a lightening rod, absorbing energy which could otherwise cause disruption. Keep in mind though, that in some cases disruptive Uranical events are both fated and invaluable.
Electronic valentines would be great as well, since Aquarius rules all electronics. Sure, it is dry and unromantic, but so is Aquarius.
