Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Music & Songs The Odyssey Uncategorized

Black Black Hell

 

Cheetah mom with baby cheetahs at sunset.Another song from the Odyssey… Odysseus travels to Hades to seek guidance for his journey. Hell is a place we all visit at some point. Perhaps by visiting Hell while still alive we don’t have to go there when we die.

What is Hell? Hell is a place so black we can only look backwards.

A place where the light of the future has been extinguished by the shadows of the past. Suddenly we are engulfed by everything we had forgotten- lost opportunities, suppressed humiliations, mistakes we can never erase. We realize that what we thought was behind us- our past- was actually closer to us than our present- standing between us and the present like an atmosphere, a cover of clouds, and in Hell these clouds thicken and swallow us up. We are confronted with the ways we have hurt others and the ways we have hurt ourselves. We come face to face with the dark sides of those we loved, the ways they betrayed us, the love that existed only in words but not deeds. We see the ways we were overpowered by life and shaped by forces beyond our control. We realize we cannot change the past- not because it is behind us (it is not behind us at all!)-but because we never could have changed it. We did our best, but it was not enough. Our will was just a tiny candle in the big wide world, barely illuminating our own hand and bound for extinction.

Some dreams were fulfilled, but still they were hollow. Some goals were achieved, but still they led nowhere. Best friends slipped away, one by one, like sunsets. Ideals that seemed so tangible turned out to only be concepts. Right and wrong, success and failure, struggles and surrenders… in the end it all led to the same place… nowhere.

Welcome to Hell.

Download MP3: Black Black Hell

Categories
Music & Songs Santa Fe Uncategorized

Pink & Silver Man

 

Nude woman surrounded by flying snakes and pills.One day I was feeling bored, so I decided to summon my guardian animal spirit. I placed a bunch of rabbit figurines on a table along with a candle. I lit the candle and gazed at the rabbits for a half hour while allowing my mind and eyes to go out of focus (there is probably a better way of contacting animal spirits). Then I blew out the candles and went back to being bored.

The next evening, as I was getting out of my car, a half circle of rabbits surrounded me in the parking lot.  I didn’t really know what to do. I hadn’t really thought about why I was summoning animal spirits, and felt kind of awkward. I just sat there, with the car door open, staring at the rabbits. After a few minutes of this, I just walked away (guiltily), the rabbits scattering.

Later, I decided to try the same thing with unicorns. I placed unicorn figurines on a table, lit a candle, and proceeded to stare at them through unfocused eyes. But this time I just fell asleep, and I never saw a unicorn either.

Download MP3: Pink and Silver Man

Categories
Los Angeles Music & Songs Uncategorized

Pink Cross Nun

 

Julien Aklei in Los Angeles
Chilling at the Pink Cross Nunnery.

Back when I wrote this song, I identified with nuns since I was single, disconnected from the ways of the world, and practicing mortification of the flesh.

I had 2 books in my tiny apartment, 1. The Rules (Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right), and 2. Gandhi’s autobiography, which I used as a reference book for self-torture. I liked the idea that inflicting physical discomfort on myself causing could lead to inner strength and reduce emotional suffering. I was constantly inventing creative new forms of mortification, and kept Gandhi nearby for tips and inspiration.

Some forms were rather mild like substituting a vanilla Slim Fast shake, along with a couple bananas and some butter cookies, for lunch. I chose vanilla, bananas, and butter for their pure nature, but ultimately this form of self-torture was too expensive to keep up. Other ideas I have already written about, like submerging my self (head included) in ice cold baths every morning. Sometimes, I would add actual ice, to make the cold water colder, and it would create quite a pain in my head.

I considered draining the blood out of my big toe, which I read about in an Indian book, but in the end that was too scary. I did drink a bunch of Epsom salts, which are supposed to clean your stomach by making you throw up (another Indian idea). But after drinking them I couldn’t bring myself to throw up, so I just sat around feeling nauseated instead. Many of my greatest ideas seemed to come from Indian sources, like putting melted butter in your eyes to give them a sparkle. I don’t know if it made my eyes shinier, but it did make it harder to see.

 

 

Categories
Los Angeles Music & Songs Uncategorized Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Manfriend

 

Man with brown egg on egg-stand, living in a robin's egg blue world.
Nothing makes a man look more sensitive than standing next to an egg.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Download MP3: Manfriend

Categories
Music & Songs Nashville Red, Soldiers, & Fire Uncategorized

On A Mexican Trail

 

Garth Brooks and his horse on a mountain path in Mexico.
A picture of Garth Brooks on a mountain path in Mexico. Did he manage to escape the Nashville Blackbird?

 

A song about the Mexican Fire Bird… a gigantic orange bird who helps people escape constrained, repressive circumstances (including prison).  The Mexican Fire Bird frequently guides people out west to where the grid of the earth is wide and spacious and they can once again take deep breaths of exhilaration and adventure.

The Mexican Fire Bird has many friends, but also enemies, including one black bird so large he is the size of four cars (and bigger when his wings are spread.) He snatches musicians with his beak and carries them way up high, so high that everyone can see them, a shining star at last, until he drops them onto a large pile of rocks by a creek somewhere in Henderson County, Tennessee. After that, I don’t know what happens… probably he eats their remains.

Some people say this black bird makes his nest on top of the large bat building in downtown Nashville. But at any rate, he is a sworn enemy to the Mexican Fire Bird. Because the Mexican Fire Bird teaches people to seek the fire within, and the Nashville Blackbird can only prey on those looking to find fire in other peoples’ eyes.

 

 

Download MP3: On a Mexican Trail

Categories
Los Angeles Music & Songs Uncategorized

The Mailman

 

The Letter. Black Hole watches his mailbox, as a menacing figure peers at him from behind a curtain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love mailmen, but I have no idea what made me write this perverted song about them. Nonetheless, it is the first song I ever wrote.

 

Download MP3: The Mailman

Categories
Music & Songs Nashville Red, Soldiers, & Fire Uncategorized

Mikael

 

Mikael: Nude bald woman with sword and shield.   A song about the angel of fire…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Download MP3: Mikael

Categories
Los Angeles Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire Uncategorized

Massanuttin

 

Introduction to the true story of the fairies who fought in the Cival War.

 

For some reason, I love confederate soldiers and they pop up frequently into my imagination.* Obviously, the south was in the wrong, but still I tend to think that the soldiers did not fight alone, but had fairies fighting with them side by side. Why would fairies fight for the Confederate army? I don’t know. My best guess is that they wanted the south to remain agricultural and undeveloped, so that they would have a place to live and their societies and cultures would not be destroyed. But in the end, they were. It is strange how even in the most black and white circumstances, there will always be more to the picture than we can see.

 

* I don’t like slavery.

 

Download MP3: Massanuttin

Categories
Los Angeles Music & Songs Uncategorized

Snowball in Hell

 

Paul Conway, heart-throb, with flying polka dots.It is nearly impossible for me to sing this song all the way through without screaming “NOOOoooo!!!!” and throwing down my guitar to hide my head in a pillow. It just embarrasses me to no end. It makes me feel like a cheesy, greasy guy driving around in a convertible and tank top, whistling at the ladies. Not that I dislike oily men, btw, I just don’t feel comfortable BEING one myself.

But James thinks I should include All my songs on this blog- The Complete Set- and I try to do as I’m told. Anyway, you can’t go through life just slashing out all the things you don’t know how to appreciate. I used to live that way, and now I really wish I could get my tie-dyed Iron Maiden t-shirt back. It was beautiful.

 

 

 

 

Download MP3: Snowball in Hell

Categories
Los Angeles Music & Songs Plants and the Emerald Kingdom Uncategorized

Picking Corn

 

This song is more or less a true story, except that my husband never passed out from moonshine, it was a blend of vodka and wormwood extract. He did fall face first onto his plate of turkey, but the joke was on me and the other guests who must have been out of our minds as well, since it took us a while to realize that the turkey we were eating was still frosty and raw.

Hellow Rasputin. Rasputin with a cucumber (his best friend), plus a dog and polka dot. "Making Love."

 

 

Download MP3: Picking Corn