Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Uncategorized

Man of the Earth

Do you ever feel like everything you say is completely wrong? I do. Not that there is something particularly wrong about it, but just that the whole realm of my thought & feeling is off.

I am hoping I can take some time away from both reading and human civilization for a while, living a life of manual labor, so I can clear my head and try to realign it with something more real. It is hard for me to do manual labor, though, because I have been brainwashed to feel that it is a waste of time. If I spend too much time on it, I feel guilty. That is just social pressure, though. My personal feelings are that manual labor is where its at.

Like, I would think, for example, that being a housekeeper would be much richer than working in an office. All the smells, textures, colors… creating  a world that is your own and getting to change it at will! How much more intelligent would you be if your didn’t spend your days eating other people’s ideas and vomiting them back up? Ideas that pass from human to human quickly become toxic. Our real ideas come from nature. And in manual labor, it is nature we are interacting with.

You can’t clean a cast iron pot without taking some of the knowledge of iron into yourself. You can’t bake a loaf of cornbread without absorbing a touch of corn’s power- the ability to be evil when evil is called for.* Cotton, wood, metal, plant, clay and fruit… all of it loaded with wisdom and new worlds… all of this loaded into our minds through contact with our hands, making us feel renewed. Inspired.

And yet, the social pressures I feel are always to do something dumb- such as read the “classics” of literature. Some of which are okay- mostly the ones written for children, I think, and the ones written by those who aren’t writers. But most are just belabored retchings of unoriginal ideas, filled with human waste, created only to impress.**

But I guess I don’t need to pit books & manual labor against each other. There is no reason you can’t do both, if you are the pretentious sort. But still, my ideal will always be the illiterate savage, the man of the earth. This isn’t a rebellion against intelligence, as some like to say, just a different idea of where intelligence comes from.

One scholar and one man of the earth take a walk in the park.

*To learn more about my feelings for corn, see herehere .

**I don’t mean to seem completely anti-scholar. I do think scholars have their place and am 20% scholar myself.

 

 

 

 

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love

Goodbye Air, Hello Earth

Moving into a new home last year was an adjustment for me. For starters, all new places feel unbearably cootie filled to me, especially if they have been previously inhabited, and since this house is 111 years old, it is has been inhabited many times. (Including JFK, at least for  a day. And considering that he was a sex addict said to have sex multiple times a day, I like to think he may have done so in our house as well. Probably the guest bathroom, as was his custom when visiting a new place.)

Also, as much as I admire the down to earthiness of West Virginia culture, it can make me feel claustrophobic at times. Truthfully, the culture of every place I have lived eventually makes me feel the need to escape. The sun shiny cultures make you stupid, the icy ones freeze your heart, the airiness of the West Coast leads you to make bad choices, the human density of cities makes your head go up your ass, etc. I can’t help wanting to be the opposite of the world around me, no matter what that world is like. Otherwise it can feel hard to breathe. Although I like like people a lot as individuals, I have a hard time dealing with them once they have turned into giant globs sharing the same thoughts and perspectives.

At any rate, the point is that when I first moved here the home and world around me felt foreign and oppressive, so I compensated by making my home a symbol of airiness and flight. Painting the walls sky blue and covering them with airplanes and butterflies, clouds, stars, and lightening bolts.

But now it has gotten to be too much and my whole world feels as though it is empty and blowing around in the air. It is time to redecorate my home to make it feel like the heaviest, stuffiest place in the world. Every symbol of air must be replaced with a pumpkin or a bear. Everything white must be painted brown. Everything high must be placed on the ground.

Of course, last time I made my home as earthy as I could  it made me feel stuck, depressed and flat, as though I was being pressed beneath a heavy book. However, it turns out that was also the time Saturn was passing over my horizon, which makes everyone feel as though their life is a dry and burdensome drudge. Maybe this time the impact of earth will be quite excellent. I will let you know. 🙂

I painted this bookcase with some leftover ocher paint to be earthier. I think ocher and brown are the essence of earth. As are dogs. If you look carefully, you can also see some of my favorite collectibles in this photo, such as blenko water bottles and fiesta ware. The books in the bookcase are ones I would be embarrassed to be associated with (and the ones I read the most) which is why they must be kept upstairs. I would like eventually to have a case of books downstairs which have been purely selected for their pomposity.
Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs

A Man I Could Love

 

All the money you piled up in piles
It sparkled to me. It helped to dream.
Buttercream on your bright copper plates
I wafted it’s fragrance up to my face and I smiled.

This is a man a man a man I could love!
This is a man a man a man I could love!

In your car with the smooth leather seats.
So warm and so cream, so soft buttery.
In your house with the thick chandeliers.
They spoke and I heard. The message was clear and I smiled.

This is a man a man a man you could love!
This is a man a man a man you could love!

Late at night in your bed how those flutes seemed to play!
Late at night on your breath I could smell your champagne!

All the cushions you piled on your chairs.
I sunk down in them. I laughed like a child.
All the silk that you rolled round my wrist.
I brushed to my cheek, the rings on your fist, they were kissed.

You are the man the man I can Love!
Mommy I’ve found a man a man I can love!

 

Download MP3: A Man I Could Love

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Red, Soldiers, & Fire

The Brown Library

 

He thought there must be some lines in the earth he could follow,
Hidden by snow, but he’d possibly find them in spring.
A grid made of brown that would lead to the crown of tomorrow…

Hail to the rose!
Hail to the sky!
Teach me to live;
Teach me to die.

In the snow it was cold but some hope filled his body;
Golden liquid that quickened the fire in his brain.
He had a theory the earth was surrounded by knowledge;
A shimmering library accessed by unbearable pain.

When I close my eyes- Ah!
Like a flame through my fingers it burns, like a fire through my heart.
When I close my eyes- No!
It eludes me a pain in my shoulders, a dimming echo.

Hail to the rose!
Hail to the sky!
Teach me to live,
Teach me to die.

His blue eyes scanned the skies though he knew they were empty;
Only fools look for schools where the airy birds fly.
Something told him the brown of the ground held the answers;
His desire for the fire left him willing to die.

Won’t you take me inside of your library
Prepared to hurt, lay my screams in your dirt?
Won’t you take me inside of your library
Prepared to bleed for the answers I need?

Hail to the rose!
Hail to the sky!
Teach me to live,
Teach me to die.

 

Download MP3: The Brown Library

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Plants and the Emerald Kingdom Uncategorized

Pillowman

 

You are so soft and warm, dusted with flowers
My face in the palm of your hand, I feel powerful
Tell me again that you like my soft head
I am an egg I will rest in your bed.

Hold me through nightshirts, hold me through pajama pants
Hold me so tight I am forced to give up the dance
Tie me to the bed and don’t let me escape from you
Outside it’s cold, but you are my you are my

Pillowman dance, Pillowman sing
Let me ride, let me ride in your basket that’s filled with the spring
Hope will come again, that’s what they say to me
Every green blade of grass bends down to pray for me

Filling my dreams with the scent of green fieldsSlippers
A world so soft; a world where the obstacles will yield
To a kind world, yield to a smile
A plate full of cookies will persuade luck to stay for a while

Then I’ll walk back to a world that is cold
Where the smiles and the cookies are all bought and sold
But first leave me with something I can understand
A scrap of pink flannel I’ll hide in my hand

Pillowman guard me, stand watch at my door
Comfort me when I can’t comfort myself anymore
When it hurts and they’re trying to charm me
Knock on my door with intentions to harm me

I bury my face in your pillowy skin
Breath through your pores and I feel peace descend
To my brain like a powder that fills up my nose
Is it true- everything comes and everything goes?

Just then the darkness begins to arise
Surprised to find that someone realized
That I I I I deserve to be befriended
Your hands on my heart til the day it has mended

And as the black blood seeps into my brain
Carrying the knowledge that made me go insane
Black leather images bite me with fangs
Held in your arms, I’m contorting with pangs

But Pillowman fights the past with his soft fists
Pulls out his scalpel for the pieces of evil that resist
Because I I I deserve to be defended
My tears on his sleeve for the things that have ended

Head on your heart and your fuzz fills my ears
Stroking my brain as it struggles with so many fears
I wish I knew how not to be afraid
But until then, Pillowman will be my friend.

 

Download Mp3: Pillowman

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Plants and the Emerald Kingdom Uncategorized

Potatoes in a Field

 

Hunched in a field, you sing in deep voicesPotato in a Field
The seeds and the soil of a world without choices
Take off your clothes at the end of the day
Lie down in a bed made of burlap and hay

The sun sinks, the sky pinks through your window so crude
Your feet hard, your back scarred, your stomach needs food
But you see your ancestors line up in brown
You hear their solemn songs sung in a round

Voice so low, Voices so deep
They crossed the ocean for you
They crossed the ocean so you could arrive
They never died.

Wiping your brow with the back of your brown hand
Your eyes are like horses, they run across this land
You see more than most, around corners and curves
Your heavy mind stays when the lighter mind swerves

Steady and patient, heavy and kind
Wearing brown pants made of burlap and twine
Nose to the grindstone, monks of the dirt
Callouses, sunsets, and visions that hurt

Voice so low, Voices so deep
They crossed the ocean for you
They crossed the ocean so you could arrive
They never died.

Your eyes follow time when it curves round the bend
You watch all the lighter ones run to destruction
They were mistaken, they thought life had an end
They ate all their seeds and then came to the bend

Shocked to discover the road just continued
Forced to keep marching without any food
You hear their cries and it makes your heart burn
But how can you give to them the things they must earn?

Voice so low, Voices so deep
They crossed the ocean for you
They crossed the ocean so you could arrive
They never died.

You know forever, you know eternity
As plain as the table where you sit for your cup of tea
You counsel your children to never waste seeds
Life is long, you must be strong, persist in good deeds.

You tell them to remember when they labor in the fields
To listen to the voices that sing in their ears
To those who are patient all will be revealed
Remember who you are, my sons- potatoes in a field.

Voice so low, Voices so deep
They crossed the ocean for you
They crossed the ocean so you could arrive
They never died.

 

Download MP3: Potatoes in a Field

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

The Golden Crown

 

Fingertips ruffled like lace
Shadows spill like coffee on your face
I know you would prefer something easier

Cotton sheets curl around your leg
Heart sleeps on your pillow like an egg
I know you would prefer something breezier

Lost in the mirror I am dog chained in the snowGolden Crown
Limp in the legs and circle round; no place else to go

beaten down
lost in brown
ears fill with a buzzing sound
when i close my eyes, i still see the golden crown

Morning wakes drenching us in gold
Hot head always quick to scold
I know you would prefer something dreamier

Hot head always something wrong
I squirm, eager to belong
I know you would prefer something creamier

Cream in your coffee black; watch me fill it up
Overflow and drip and spill; watch me lick it up

beaten down
lost in brown
ears fill with a buzzing sound
when i close my eyes, i still see the golden crown

Sleeping on the floor at night, do you hear me breathe?
Butterflies and unicorns, eager to believe

Close my eyes when they start to burn
Swollen shut talking out of turn
I know I should have mentioned it earlier

Rest my head on a moldy towel
Thick and thin, forever and now
I know I should have been something pearlier

Dipped in a cotton cloud, that’s my little girl
Nothing’s real and nothing’s wrong
In our little world

Home sweet home
Dog and bone
Old friends calling on the phone
Holding hands with everyone you’ve known

beaten down
lost in brown
ears fill with a buzzing sound
when i close my eyes, i still see the golden crown

 

Download MP3: The Golden Crown

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs

Mommy & Me

 

Trapped inside me is a mother
Trapped inside me is a rolly polly girlMommy and Me
I’m gonna shake it like no other
I’m gonna spread my crazy fingers through the world.

We will always be together child
We can get through any weather child.

Mommy sees me in the mirror
Mommy runs her crazy fingers through my hair
Mommy knows I like her makeup
Mommy knows I like those crazy clothes she wears.

We will always be together child
We can get through any weather child.

Mommy says I am her angel
Mommy says I am her bouncy flouncy boy
Mommy sets me on the table
Mommy says that when I dance it brings her joy.

We will always be together child
We can get through any weather child.

Mommy dances beside me; in the mirror we are one
Mommy dances behind me; mommy and me have so much fun.

Trapped inside a woman
I dab her makeup when it dribbles down my face
Trapped inside me is a lady
Watch this lady dance her way to outer space.

We will always be together child
We can get through any weather child.

 

Download MP3: Mommy & Me

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

i could love you

 

i could love you Poptart James

the touch of silk, the smell of rose
that’s life, that’s the way it goes, i know
the smell of rose and lemonade
close my eyes, not afraid, oh no

everyone that seems to care they feel so far away
imagine that love fills the air, imagine it will stay

i could love you, i
who could love me, not i

a hand that’s overgrown with hair
touch me, that means you care, i know
a hand that smells like lemonade
every day sweet love is made, oh no

big eyes circle round the town
go ahead and stare
big eyes circle round and round
don’t look for love, i looked, it wasn’t there

i could love you, i
who could love me, not i

the smell of lemonade and rose
close your eyes imagine that love flows
the feel of silk where petals lie
please don’t say that love can die, oh no

white clouds settle on the ground and fill the neighborhood
feel my head spin round and round, this must be something good

i could love you, i
who could love me, not i

 

Download Mp3: i could love you

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Uncategorized Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Sober


PompousThis song was inspired by my ongoing realization that the grumpier and more serious you appear, the better people treat you. The heavier and darker your clothes, the thicker your glasses, the more sour your expression, the more intelligent people think you are. And the more intelligent they think you are, the more likely they are to come to your aid in an emergency situation (even better if they think you’re rich.) We all know that when animals are in trouble, the amount of effort people put into saving them depends completely on their weight. The whole world joins forces to save a trapped whale, but when a fruit fly languishes in a glass of water, nobody sheds a tear. So in life, you gotta seem heavy. You got to try to be that whale.

 

Sober

Let me be the one who is sober,
Unconcerned, responsible and older.
Sneering at their childish plans,
Disgusted by their sticky hands,
Weighing down their dreams like a boulder.

For in this world never believe that
it’s safe to be terrified or go soft inside
for we’ll take it all
we will all watch you fall.

I used to think a smile would make them love me,
But it only lifted all of them above me.
The wiser man would wear a frown
That drags the other person down,
Cause when they’re down they see the glory of me.

For in this world never believe that
it’s safe to be terrified or go soft inside
for we’ll take it all
we will all watch you fall.

I used to float like a happy bubble in the air;
They smiled at me, they watched me pop without a care.
While the ones who frown are carved in stone,
The ones whose hearts are filled with bone,
They’re the ones we always repair.

For in this world never believe that
it’s safe to be terrified or go soft inside
for we’ll take it all
we will all watch you fall.

People say that happiness is a butterfly
Who abandons you, who flits away when it’s time to cry.
Drive the sluts out from your fold-
Bitterness contains the gold,
Bitterness contains the glue
That binds hearts to you.

 

 

Download MP3: Sober