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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Red, Soldiers, & Fire Writings

Aries, I love you!!!

Holy cow, if there is one thing I love in this freaking world, it has to be Aries, God of War. Just thinking about him makes me want to go insane.

Not only is he the first sign of the zodiac he is also the first principle I turn to whenever life feels dim. If not for Aries taking that first bold step into the void, no other signs would have ever be born. He is the electric current that powers the whole zodiac. You could say he is life itself. I freaking love him.

Aries is one quality (well one of 100) I always seek in people but rarely find. It isn’t that common for people to move forward boldly in a direction of their choosing. Many are pathetically addicted to being on the receiving end of life, seeing this as a form of validation. There are more people who want to be courted & pursued than people who are hungry to continuously pursue someone (or something) who is kicking them in the face. But once you make the connection to Aries and feel his fire in your heart your perspective shifts. A kick really does start to feel like a kiss. There is a reason Jesus said it is better to give than receive. Because the life force flows through the giver.

To be the actor plugs you directly into life’s current. When you act boldly upon this world, electricity from another world begins to flow into you. The receiver looks to this world for his fulfillment, while the giver receives straight from God. Connected to a higher power, it doesn’t matter how this world responds to you. The exhilaration of feeling life flow through you becomes its own reward. It is thrilling to never know what you will do next and what might pour out of you. We call this “being on fire.”

And the fire of Aries is always available to us. Aries is our ability to act independently and assertively, without outside support. By definition, he is there for us any time we choose.

No matter our situation, there is always some arena in which we can engage a little harder and become a little bolder. Always some opportunity to extend further into the unknown, filling your body with tingles. If you are low on tingles it is because you are low on Aries and no amount of external stimulation can bring that potato to life. It has to come from within. Setting aside the need for validation, for permission. Life flowing through you and making the world come alive.

I have in my mind this masculine ideal of someone who is always brave, shockingly bold, moving forward, relentless, caring what no one thinks. After discussing this with many women, Aries seems to be the archetype 90% of us dream of. A strong bold man who sweeps you off your feet despite your protests and you have no idea what is happening. You can’t think straight, your bones have turned to jelly, but still he continues.

And I have experienced this a few times, but the sad truth is that when your life consists of continuously getting swept away by outside forces you eventually turn into a vegetable. Even females need to find the fire within. Sometimes though, it doesn’t feel so much like this fire comes from within, but from someone behind you- the perfect man- filling you up with a fire from another world, giving you boldness even when you know you are a coward. The love he gives you never fades or dims, it just grows stronger the more you use it.

Ironically, the more you let the primal fire flow through you, the more you may attract things to yourself thus fulfilling the vegetal desire to be pursued. But at this point it doesn’t matter anymore because you already have all the fire you can take and it is just holding candles up to the sun.

How many times have you heard that you must love yourself before others can love you? How many have lost large chunks of their life floating around in bubble baths waiting for this to happen? Women often think of self-love as a kind of bifurcated mental state where they are both a priceless object and also the housekeeper who must tirelessly care for that priceless object. With this kind of self-love you break even at best, like preparing an elaborate dinner for one. Becoming the slave of your object self is blah. Becoming the slave of Aries is hot.

To me, self love means connecting with the fire in your heart and realizing that this fire is life itself. No man created it. No man can judge it. The fire created the whole world and everything in it. The fire bows to no one and seeks no approval.

It feels fucking exhilarating as though Prince Charming is standing right behind you blazing a hole through your heart. Life itself is the ultimate masculine principle and He has chosen you to be forever alive. Feeling him there you know how much you have to offer the world because it isn’t the form of what you give or how well crafted it may seem. You are bringing fire itself. Bringing life to life. On fire like this, it feels wonderful to be the one extending your hand because you have already received and been chosen. The fact that you are able to extend is proof that life has found you so desirable he couldn’t resist filling you up with his own energy. A slave to the ultimate man. UGH!!!!!!!!!!! That is how I feel about Aries. Like I said, he makes me go insane.

***

But wait… I need to be honest with you… there is a dark side to my love for aries… there is another side to this coin…

I tend to view life as consisting of two worlds. The physical world we can see and an invisible world of eternal spiritual powers which we can’t see. I view myself as a channel through which the powers flow, descending from that world into this one. This is an Arian view of life, in which I play the dynamic role and the world around me is the dough I act upon. Sometimes I view others as dough people. I have to ram them with my rod til I’m exhausted. Or sometimes protect myself against them. Because I realize other people can harm, but I rarely consider the possibility that they could bring something new or meaningful into my life. I have no hope of finding anything meaningful in my world other than the things I bring into it. And I’m pretty sure that perspective is fucked up.

The upside to this is being able to find meaning in my life regardless of how others treat me or feel about me, because my primary meaning is coming from relating to the invisible worlds. Consider Emily Dickinson, who spent her life writing poems but never got them published. What if she had been concerned with getting them published? Maybe she would have become frustrated & committed suicide. Not caring what the world gives to you puts you in a position of control. Things like other people, over which you have no control, don’t matter.

I guess my approach to life developed in an attempt to maintain equilibrium while feeling overpowered by those whom I could not influence. To be able to grow when normal avenues of growth seemed blocked. But viewing life solely through the lens of what you bring to the world can lead to a sort of loneliness where the only person in your life is you. Not to mention reduced survival skills since you aren’t connected enough to the people and things around you to really understand how they work. And emitting too much energy can keep other people at bay. In fact, keeping other people at arm’s length is probably why I started to emit in the first place.

One technique I learned early in life was to stream out a continuous flow of energy towards those I found threatening… to try and shower them with so many compliments, gifts and helpful observations that they would have fewer opportunities to attack. Like throwing a tiger a steady supply of meat. Love bombing I guess. I would try to fill all the space between myself and others with energy so there would be no time or space left for them to respond. This didn’t stop attacks, but did slow them a bit. It probably had the impact of attracting mostly predators and mooches as well since I was constantly throwing things at people. Money, compliments, clothes, even trading school papers when I knew mine would get higher grades. I flattered others constantly while disparaging myself, but because I paid no attention to what I was or wasn’t receiving from the world, I never really noticed the harm I was causing, nor that I was sinking deeper and deeper into a pit from which I would not be able to escape.

Now I don’t feel as much of a need to flatter, but still obsessively fill space with my own energy. When I stop doing this, it feels as though there is nothing there. I can either provoke others and be attacked or be surrounded by inert blobs of dough.

Hence the need for Libra, Aries’ polarity. The sign of relationships where giving and receiving are in a state of balance. To be Aries is to be an individual. To be Libra is to be in harmony with the world and receive the things you need from other people. I am not going to say much about Libra at this point because I don’t really understand it. I have been fairly productive for most of my life and probably earned less than a thousand dollars. Meanwhile a person with a super strong Libra says something like “What is, is.” and wins a Nobel Prize. Oil barons want to marry them. Because they understand how the world works and know how to position themselves within it for maximum gain. I guess receiving things from life is not an automatic but takes a different type of skill and knowledge, something Aries cannot understand. I want to learn this because I want to survive. And also because everything which isn’t myself is my obsession, even if I can never quite reach it.

So take my enthusiasm for Aries with a grain of salt, because despite his absolute hotness he is just one side of the coin. Without the other side you will not last long in this world.

******

*** PS. This is my usual disclaimer that in discussing Aries & Libra I am discussing the signs themselves, as forces in the universe, not those people who call themselves “an aries” or “a libra.” Personally I am a scorpio, despite identifying with aries in this post.

But we all have aries at some place in our chart and this is an area of life where we will exert ourselves with aggression. For me, aries rules my House of Creativity & Self-Expression, so this is the arena where I am willing to step out & assert myself in an independent manner. In other areas of life, not so much. Someone else, like you for example, might have Aries in their house of sex, making them an absolute freak but only behind closed doors.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Videos

Pieces (Video)

I have been meaning to publish this for a month but I hate dealing with images of myself so much that I always procrastinate. Hearing myself sing makes me feel weird too.

Also, things have been so strange recently that I haven’t been able to play music until today, when finally I climbed back into being myself.

2020 was a weird year for many people due to all these bad planets forming a single mega-planet in the grim sign of Capricorn. It had been a dark year for me filled with many fears, mostly relating to money, marriage, totalitarian governments and eternal boredom. When I realized a couple of these planets were about to be moving into Aquarius- breaking up this monster after a year of total darkness- I got a little carried away with celebrating & think I accidentally got possessed by something in the process.

Which is why I have spent the last month setting up my Cardano stake pool & promoting it, trying to get people to stake, helping them with technical difficulties etc. If you knew me, you would realize how completely out of character this is. I would wake up in the morning, start watching tech videos & be at it- learning and helping others- until 5 am. Suddenly it was really easy for me to learn & understand these things. I found them interesting. It was very odd considering how much I hate all things tech. I can barely bring myself to record my own songs.

Eventually though, I was so different from my regular self that I started to get worried. I was so mental- basically 100% brain. I couldn’t even relate to the idea of ever having been a musician. Plus, I couldn’t turn it off. Solving tech problems & learning from dusk till dawn. I started to feel like the girl in that fairy tale who puts on dancing shoes that make her dance until she drops dead.

So, I tried to do an intervention on myself. I took down all the Aquarian things I had hung up on my walls so they are blank pink slates again. A few days later, I am starting to go back to normal. Luckily, I seem to have retained what I learned, so maybe I can be myself AND a tech zillionaire.

As you know, dying of poverty has been one of my dominant fears over the past few years, so to have hope of a different future feels…. well, it feels like the darkness has ended. And hope is actually what Aquarius stands for.

I LOVE YOU AQUARIUS! I’M SORRY FOR ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID ABOUT YOU IN THE PAST!! Thank you for being my friend.


Live in a sea of broken glass
Pieces were shining everywhere
Somebody turned to walk around
Somebody watching from the stairs

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Watching the moonlight dripping down
Watching the starlight spin away
Everything moves around and round
Never a way to make you stay

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Mirrors were broken on the ground
Pick up a piece to keep me sound
You leave the room and then you’re gone
Watching the walls spin round & round

How can I not believe in you?
You were the one man standing there
Everyone knows the things you do
But underneath it all you care

Swim in a sea of broken glass
Throwing the rainbows on the wall
Breathing so hard I have to gasp
Caught in the ecstasy I fall

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Writings

Aquarius: Into the Chill


(Please note, this post is about the sign Aquarius, which is always operative- to a greater or lesser degree- in all events & humans. We are ALL aquarian to some extent & are currently living in a very aquarian time- a trend that will continue in years to come. Therefore, it seems valuable for everyone to acquaint themselves with this energy whether you consider yourself “an Aquarius” or not.)*

Have you ever left family, relationships or hometown behind in order to become the person you were meant to be? If so, you have experienced the pull of Aquarius.

Aquarius is a sign of relationship, but it is our relationship to humanity as a whole- the faceless crowds, the people who have yet to be born, the aquaintances who come and go freely from our life without leaving broken hearts behind. It is the sign of all relationships which are unbinding, which leave us free to come and go, which do not restrict our individuality. It is the sign of relationships born from an abstract love of humanity, with no desire to possess the other person. Governed by benevolence but also an absence of passion.

Our intimate and familial relationships always restrict- to some extent- our ability to be free. We care about these people and try to become what they need. We merge and our identities blend. Aspects of self get rubbed down and reshaped from the friction.

Aquarius seeks relationships which will not restrict but enable an uncompromised expression of self. Online, for example, people seek out groups who share their opinions or passions, allowing them to fully express aspects of themselves in a way they cannot do around grandma. And when these virtual connections begin to chafe, they are discarded with the click of a button & replaced.

Aquarius can also mean an abstract love for humanity itself. Or even a love for abstractions, such as God, math, virtue, or the planets. These are the sort of loves that will not keep you warm at night, but will never desert you either. They give people the strength to continue when other sources of meaning have failed them.

Being the wide open field of humanity, Aquarius also brings opportunity. It is well known that developing a wide social network is one of the best ways to advance yourself in any career. Your mother may not know anyone looking to hire a clown, but *somebody* does. And by developing acquaintances in a detached, non-emotional way, it becomes quite easy for you to know the person who knows the person who wants to hire a clown and thus fulfill your childhood dream of becoming a pedophile.

Aquarius can also relate to acquiring large amounts of money with ease. Imagine someone successfully selling their product to the masses, money pouring in from all directions. Now imagine someone selling lemonade to his friends and neighbors. Not only is the second man’s audience limited, but every sale becomes a drama of sorts. People who buy his lemonade now feel he owes them one as though they were doing him a favor. Perhaps they WERE just buying it as a favor and pretty soon annoyance and resentment start to flow all around.

When a person sells to strangers on the other hand, emotional entanglements rarely enter the picture & the business is free to soar.

The downside to the lofty, detached energy of Aquarius is that it can be demotivating for some, especially females who- like cold blooded animals- tend to need the warmth of human connection to thrive. This cold, high minded energy can be the kiss of death in intimate relationships. Hence the reason that in charts it frequently forebodes divorce or perhaps a person who never gets married at all. Successful aquarian romantic relationships do exist, but they requires both individuals to prefer devotion to God over romance, to be swingers, live on separate continents, or have some other factor in place to prevent their identities from becoming overly merged & keep emotional complications to a minimum.

Sometimes Aquarius is a means to an end and not the final destination. A person breaks out of a restrictive situation & expands into the blue in order to find the place where they belong, so that they may put down roots which will last. Dating sites, for example, are Aquarian in that you can coldly sift through the humans on display, tapping or dismissing them as you wish, but the ultimate goal is to find a place where a fire can begin and the Aquarian expanse left behind.

Aquarius is a mental energy and linked to advances in science and technology, fields commonly fueled by an abstract idealism- a desire to solve the problems of humanity and make the world a better place.

Aquarian love- a heady mix of idealism & possibility- can lead to feelings of exhilaration. Still it is a cold, impersonal love, which will not set your loins on fire nor cause your heart to burst into flame. Consider, though, that heat is movement. Heat requires energy and therefore an energy source to feed upon. With romantic love, people may not even know what food their passion is feasting upon & therefore feel lost & bewildered when passion dies and love grows cold. But Aquarian love, being forever cold, needing neither food nor warmth to maintain it, lasts forever.

This is why Aquarius is known as a “fixed” sign. While it is popular nowadays to view reality as an ever changing flux, in astrology there are signs whose job it is to always change & other signs- like Aquarius- whose job it is to stay the same (hence ‘fixed.)

When we develop a love for humanity, a love for God, or even a love for virtue- these are Aquarian loves that will never abandon us or let us down. Even if we consider ourselves a warm, fiery person, it is important to have at least a slice of this cold, eternal love in our love portfolio. It can carry us through those times when when warm love- subject to destruction by the constant sway of emotions- is no where to be found.

Perhaps this is why the ancients considered Aquarius to be under the rulership of Saturn- bringer of fortitude and king of all things which time cannot decay. When we have a friend in Aquarius, we have a friend forever.

* When someone says “I am an Aquarius” they mean they were born with the sun in Aquarius. Whether or not they relate to this energy, however, depends on many factors, including the placement of the other 9 planets in their chart. At any rate, I can not stress enough that this post is about Aquarius itself- an energy which we all contain & contend with- not a particular group of people.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Uranus in Taurus- A Money Revolution

The things which interest me most are generally too personal or obscure for public consumption. I have a second, secret blog on which I am more prolific and write about feelings, colors, planets & my experiments with these things without needing to worry if anyone else will understand.

Conversely, there are ideas which I feel would be useful to share, but are so basic in my world that it is hard to find the motivation to write about them. Uranus in Taurus is one of these things. I have been meaning to blog about it for years, but just never got up the energy to do so.

Still, in the interest of public welfare (and because I want my friends & readers to be able to cash in on the moment!) allow me to tell you a touch about Uranus in Taurus. I will make this simple for those who have no interest in astrology but would enjoy having more money.

Uranus is the planet ruling change, revolution & technological advances. When he passes through a zodiac sign, he transforms & upgrades the affairs of that sign. Old regimes get toppled. New, forward-thinking ideas step in to fill the void. Uranus is currently passing (2018-2026) through the sign of Taurus, which rules- among other things- money.

So, we could expect a financial revolution- a change in the nature of money itself- to take place during this time. And while the future is always uncertain, cryptocurrency overtaking traditional forms of money seems to be the most likely outcome.

Cryptocurrency is Uranical in many ways. Like Uranus, it is new, technological, abstract & first adopted by society’s fringes. It is unappealing to many though, because we feel we are already drowning in an overly high tech world. The last thing we want is for money to become more complex & immaterial as well.

However, despite its unromantic aura, I believe the crypto revolution will be a good thing. Uranus breaks up existing power structures. It is an egalitarian planet- making opportunity available to all. It is decentralized- a key aspect of cryptocurrencies. It is the planet of freedom & individuality- a welcome concept at a time when many are terrified by the possibility of government overreach. Cryptocurrencies represent a form of money which is more challenging for governments to control & more difficult to corrupt. The currencies now being created also have the ability to provide stable financial infrastructures (based on math) in locations where such infrastructures don’t exist.

So these years should represent both a changing of the financial guard and a golden window of opportunity for those who feel economically disenfranchised & would like to change their fate.

There are three phases to Uranus’s passage transit through Taurus.

Phase One: The relevant cryptos are now in the process of being built. A disruption to people’s quality of life makes the man on the streets more open to new solutions.

Phase Two: (Beginning April 18 2021) The most dynamic phase. A time of mass adoption & rapid changes. Cryptos battle each other & some die a brutal death.

Phase Three: (Beginning May 29, 2023) Pre-existing financial power structures begin to crumble. Meanwhile, crypto begins the process of crystallization to become a power structure of its own. It would be best to invest BEFORE phase three begins. At this point the government will be forced to come to terms with crypto- either through adoption or some other method.

***

And there is one last concept I need to throw out. While this should be its own blog post, I am feeling lazy, so will just throw it out in brief.

If- like me- you have been worried about the looming shadow of tyranny, do NOT- I repeat- ***DO NOT*** try to escape society & head off to the woods to live a primordial existence. From an astrological perspective, the war against tyranny will be lost or won on the battlefield of technology. And we need as many soldiers as possible.

This is yet another reason I am enthusiastic about cryptocurrencies, despite being a technophobe myself. The crypto community not only values individual freedom & the decentralization of power- they are actively building things which accomplish this goal. They- along with other techno warriors creating platforms to preserve privacy & freedom of speech- are the jedi knights in the fight against big tech, big government. We need to understand the great things being done in the tech arena, so we can place our collective weight behind it. Technology has the power to stop tyranny from taking hold.

So please- upgrade your technological mind for the greater good! It may be intimidating- but this is war, not a picnic. Learn the weapons of our time so you can play a role in shaping the world to come & ensuring it is a world of freedom.



P.S. Uranus is a notoriously unpredictable planet, so I do not know for sure what will happen in the coming years. Being an astrologer is much like being a weather man. You assess the sky forces (a tornado), assess the land forces (a trailer park) and just go with the most likely outcome (mass destruction.) So please understand I am just relying on astrology + common sense to describe probable outcomes. Otherwise, I have no idea what the future holds!

P.P.S. As you may know, I am starting a Cardano stake pool (AKLEI) & hope you will consider staking with me. If you take the time to learn about Cardano, I think you will be impressed by its potential to do good in this world. It is far more than just a currency. And stake pools (in the Cardano system) are basically group mining operations. This causes the system to be a zillion times more energy efficient than older cryptos such as bitcoin. Staking with me does not entail giving me any money- it only means you get a share of what my servers “mine.”

In the Cardano system, you want to stake your money with someone (since staking gives you extra coin while not costing or restricting you in any way) therefore I figure, why not with me?!?!?!?

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Should I become a new person until spring? Or not?

Hi, I have been wanting to write in here for a while, but too confused & conflicted to know what to say. I keep writing things & deleting them because there are too many parts of myself (or possibly parts of other people) vying for control.

It is so cold, but luckily I have a space heater & as long as I sit right in front of it I am okay. This has forced me to do lots of boring things, like obsess endlessly over minor astrology transits & review relevant moments in my journals. (I have 100 million.)

One thing I have noticed from reading them is that my perceptions are uncannily accurate, but my thoughts & interpretations are absurdly offbase. I recorded all these dreams which -with the benefit of hindsight- I can see were quite literal. But my interpretations of them could not have been more absurd. I just interpreted things as meaning whatever I wanted them to mean rather than seeing what was staring right at me in the face.

Is it bad luck to tell people your dreams? I mean desire dreams. My greatest dream is to discover my own form of astrological magic. These past couple weeks it seemed as though I had done just that. I ‘tapped’ into a couple transits I was having and BAM!- I seemed to become a different person overnight. I opened a Cardano Stake pool (AKLEI- and I hope you will stake with me) and started promoting it and messaging people about it obsessively- something extremely out of character for me- but you see Pluto is currently moving through my house of money to sextile my sun & this was the transit that I tapped.

Eventually though, the change in my character became so intense I couldn’t tell if I was obsessed or possessed. Slowing down was impossible & it felt as though in a moment I had suddenly become a different person. I was waking up to watch tech videos, helping streams of friends solve their tech problems & discussing tech with my husband at night. All this started to make me wonder if was approaching magic in the wrong way. The changes were not bad per se… just weird.

But my intention had been to try to become someone else until the spring anyway, because right now life is hard & I needed a means of escape. Focusing on tech & money- for better or worse- is helpful for separating from life’s physical & emotional aspects. The physical are probably the hardest. It is just so freaking cold & I have anemia but no money for iron supplements, making it hard to do things like play guitar. I just thought if I had some way of escaping until spring then things would be easier. In spring it will be warm for starters & the price of Cardano should be on the rise, making it easier to purchase things.

In spring, I will be able to walk around. Right now it is hard to even walk around my house & I hate to stay in one place.


P.S. If you have any thoughts, please do comment or contact me. I like connecting with people more than dancing for an invisible audience.



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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Stay at Home. Save Lives. Pisces Lies.

This is supposed to be a picture of Pisces relaxing on a sofa. I don’t totally know how to draw sofas but I am great at drawing Pisces!

(Warning- this post involves astrology, but should be understandable- I think- to someone with no interest in the subject. When I reference ‘Pisces’ I am not referring to Pisces People- i.e. those born when the Sun was in Pisces- but rather to the sign itself, which is currently in control of the group mind.*)

Could anything be more annoyingly Piscean than the phrase “Stay at home, save lives.”?

On the one hand, Pisces has a Christ complex. It wants to be seen as compassionate, saintly, hovering above the unevolved hordes. On the other hand, Pisces hates to actually get up off the couch, unless there is a 25 dollar smoothie made of endangered berries to drink.

And now, with Neptune in Pisces we have discovered a way to be passive, pathetic, yet heroic and grandiose at the same time! Lack of engagement has become a virtue. Just by doing nothing, or perhaps wearing a lace veil over your face while you shop, you too can be a saint. People who want to venture out into the world and engage, or even take an active role in questioning pumped out narratives are now the bad ones. Murderers versus the life savers who sit at home watching tv.

So small businesess fail. Oh well, that is a small price to pay for saving lives. So 130 million additional people descend into starvation this year. A small price as well. People with other diseases can no longer get the health care they need. Well, who cares- is life about health? People lose jobs, but really, is life about working? People can’t buy food- does this matter, when the forest is full of mushrooms & the seas full of fish? People cannot afford heat- but isn’t it selfish to consider body temperature when lives are at stake?

Really, when dealing with Pisces, it makes no difference what is said. You may as well just say Toodle Oodles & attach a bunch of flower emojis. Pisces is directly opposite Virgo- the sign of facts. In the Pisces realm, facts do not exist. To call Pisces a liar would be an understatement. It simply has no relationship to truth. It will say anything. If you attempt to engage with the Piscean forces in a rational way, you begin to feel you are losing your mind. It swirls, mutates and contradicts itself without a hint of remorse. What is the primary motive of this sign? I’m not sure yet. Sometimes it seems as though it is motivated to feel good about itself and so rearranges objective reality to achieve that goal. There can also be a bit of a death wish with Pisces, since reality is the exact thing it is trying to escape from.

Pisces is also notable for a complete lack of responsibility. (Once again, responsibility falls under the realm of Virgo- Pisces’ opposite.) People talk about how badly 2020 sucked as though we are helpless potatoes on whom a bad year was unleashed. Granted, 2020 was incredibly harsh from an astrology perspective, but to a large extent it sucked because we made dumb choices. We didn’t speak up for what we thought was right or have the balls to act on it. We hedged and hawed, trying to find a middle ground between appeasement and integrity. Collectively passivity. Collective patheticism. Now we can’t just sit on our hands now waiting to see how 2021 will turn out- we must take active responsibility in shaping it. Cry in your bubble bath at night if you must, but when dealing with the social world, don’t be an effiminate defeatist sitting on your hands! We are the ones who shape society and we can’t speak of it as though it exists outside our personal choices.

Of course, Pisces does has a good side (yawn). Its drive to escape reality and become something more than mundane pushes it into the realms of imagination, spirituality and other worlds, where it can break new ground. Its desire to isolate provides space for healing emotional wounds. Still, Pisces is forever tripping on acid and should never EVER be allowed to take the wheel where practical things are concerned, especially in matters involving economy and health (once again ruled by Virgo).

The ultimate irony is that Pisces needs the mundane practicality of Virgo, however much it rebels against it. Were Pisces to achieve its goal of gumming up the gears of society until the whole thing came to a halt, there would be no floating into the hazy, half-baked world of Pisces’ dreams. Instead, things would get real fast. No more sofas. No more smoothies. No more Compassion bumper stickers. I don’t think soft and sluggish Pisces will be happy in the world he is creating at all.




* Neptune represents the group mind and whichever sign Neptune currently resides in determines the ideals of the collective. Neptune entered blobular Pisces in 2012 and will remain there until 2024.


And one more thing… My official opinion on how to end this madness…

As Pisces relentlessly attacks Virgo, seeking to undermine everything practical & grounded, the temptation is to fight back from a Virgoic position. But it is questionable if you can truly combat irrationality with rationality. It almost seems to create a stand off in which the rational party becomes exhausted dropping endless amounts of facts & logic into a swirling pit of absurdity.

My current view is that the antidote to the excesses of every sign lie in the sign that follows.** Hence, Aries- the combative fireball who speaks with his fists, refuses to be placed on the sidelines, and sees risk as the very heart of life- may be the only one who can save us and break the Virgo-Pisces standoff.

It is only a few years (2024) until Neptune moves into Aries anyway and brave, warlike qualities will be celebrated far and wide. So why not get a jump start on the trend and become a manly warrior now while all your friends are still clutching their infected blankets? If we can pick up these active virtues sooner rather than later, perhaps we can prevent the worst from happening.


More on Neptune in Pisces.

Tips on preparing for Neptune entering Aries.


** One way to understand the zodiac is to see each sign as a natural reaction to the sign that came before.

Under Libra, superficiality starts to get so out of hand that people can’t bear it. So they decide to form real connections and Scorpio is born. But these real connections start to get so intense and all encompassing that people can no longer breath. Finally one of them moves to another country. Now Sagittarius has been born. And so on and so forth.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Secret Enemies

Well, I finally forced myself to do an esp journal to see what is going on above my head and it appears the newest thing is that I have a lot of secret enemies, who appear like colored clouds floating above my head, some with lightning bolts contained within the cloud but not striking. I guess they are just waiting for the right time.

Astrologically I have been having a transit (Pluto on Mercury)* which causes a person to speak more forcibly & creates secret enemies since being outspoken alienates people, while seeming forceful motivates them to oppose you in sneaky ways rather than openly.

I used to have people attacking me directly all the time. “You’re the dumbest person I ever met.” “Who wants to hear a nazi singing?” etc etc. It was constant, probably because while I expressed opinions I also tried to be overly nice, making me an easy target. Then I became friends with a bunch of feminists who would constantly go ballistic on people and that started to get me more comfortable with the idea of standing up for myself. The feminists scorned those who coddled male egos, calling them ball palmers & hand maidens. This inspired me to stop my incessant ass kissing. Which caused me to lose most of my male friends.

Now, a year or so later, people open direct fire on me much more rarely. But not because they like me better. Just because they are waiting for their moment to Ceasar me. In many cases I know their identities. But one of the great mysteries of life has always been what you are supposed to do if you know someone is going to commit a crime that they haven’t yet committed? You can’t exactly punish them ahead of time. And if you start cutting people off for things they haven’t yet done, everyone will assume you are paranoid. But just sitting on your hands & waiting for someone to murder you also seems pretty lame.

A few years ago I didn’t even believe in enemies, although looking back, I definitely had them. Just the word enemies would have seemed a bit dirty to me. In fact I still feel pangs of guilt for using such an unladylike word rather than pretending that we are All One. But whatever. God devoted 2 out of his 12 starry houses to them and I am sure he knew what he was doing.

Sometimes enemies may even be preferable to friends because they encourage cunning & self reliance rather than bleeding yourself out for approval. You don’t have to merge with your enemies or give them 3/4 of your sandwich. Unless of course they are pretending to be your friends and you are going along with it, unsure of what else to do.

This past year has been all about females, but this coming year I hope to interact with more males because I feel they have the type of knowledge I need. They don’t seem to lose a sense of their individual identity in the way that women do.

* In case you care about astrology, technically Pluto is sextiling my Mercury. I don’t share the popular opinion that sextiles are positive.

My view on sextiles is that they give you baby challenges which allow you to learn important lessons in a relatively safe setting. For example, the enemies I currently deal with pose no mortal threat to me. (I hope.) If I wanted to I could dismiss them as being too trivial to care about. If I did this, however, I would not learn lessons which will be vital when Pluto squares Mercury. During squares & opposition, failure has real consequences.

Therefore, I always take the events of sextiles seriously- at least from a learning perspective- and try to get things right, so I will be ready when life gets real.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Gray Clouds, Brown Boxes & Tubes

An excerpt from my journal.

I haven’t felt capable of writing in here for a while because all these heavy things have been hanging over my head. Literally. Gray clouds & brown boxes. Bars & tubes stuck into my skull, driving me insane.

I assume the gray clouds are depressive thoughts of which I’m not consciously aware. The boxes probably contain psychic junk I have been suppressing. The metal bars extend to various people & represent the pressure I feel to please them. The hollow tubes contain thoughts & perspectives pumped directly into my head.

At least I think this is the case. I haven’t taken the time to carefully dig into these things because there is just too much heavy stuff there & it feels unbearably tedious to sift through it all.

So it has been sitting there, having a slightly discouraging effect upon me, making me doubt the value of anything I could express and also the value of those I would be expressing to.

It hasn’t been the best time ever when it comes to relationships.

For starters James has been going through the darkest period a man lives through in a 264 period (Pluto on moon) also known as the Wife Beating transit. And I’ve been stuck in a house with him night & day.

Secondly, the political situation- shutdowns etc- has me on edge. I feel nervous that you are expected to accept the government’s increasing control without question. I can’t bring myself to wear a mask- because I believe something sketchy is underway- and this makes me seem like an asshole to others. And people already think I am an asshole for supporting Trump which bums me out as well.

But the fact is basic freedoms- such as free speech & the ability to live life on my own terms- are very important to me. I don’t want to live in North Korea. And this makes me a nazi klansman in the eyes of most people I know, making me feel even more isolated.

And on a personal level these past months have released a series of events which made me realize most people I believed to be friends were actually enemies from the beginning. All this has me doubting how many good people actually exist in the world. Is everyone your enemy once you get to know them? Or am I just doing something majorly wrong?

Regardless though, I know I must push through these gray clouds & attempt to express myself, if only to provide balls for my enemies’ cannons.

Because I do believe in life. I know there is a higher purpose and our actions matter. We have to place our faith in doing the right thing, letting the chips fall where they may when it comes to peoples’ reactions.

And I also believe in people because they are made in Life’s image. Still this faith is a muscle I have to consciously exercise. I think the most important part of writing is summoning in your mind an image of an ideal audience that you are writing to. People who are caring, interested, thoughtful…. whatever qualities excite you. These imaginary people become your muse.

Sometimes you imagine specific people have these qualities and you make them your muse. Sometimes you find out they never had those qualities to begin with and it feels as though a piece of your muse has been lost. I guess that is what has been happening to me.

But then you summon your faith again and once again imagine a beautiful golden blob of humanity dangling above your head, filled with endless possibility. People so inviting you want to tell them everything.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Pluto in Capricorn

A king sliced cruelly in two- the sexual fantasy of Pluto in Capricorn.

Have you noticed people being much angrier than usual in recent years and that this anger is generally directed towards government, authority figures, statues, rich people and anyone who holds a position of prestige in society?

Astrologically, this is due to Pluto moving through the sign of Capricorn, which it entered in 2008 and will remain in until 2024. Pluto is the planet which causes repressed rage to rush to the surface and it is currently surfacing repressed emotions of a Capricornian nature.

Capricorn rules authority, career, fame, respect and success. Having a place in society. Being somebody. So basically this is a time when all pent up feelings relating to an inability to be someone who matters are bubbling to the surface.

This is why, currently, the angriest people are frequently those who work in fields where it is quite difficult to achieve a position of respect and stability- music, the arts, restaurants etc. Feeling unable to fulfill their Capricornian urges, they prefer to watch things burn to the ground as a form of catharsis.

From a rational perspective, it is quite likely that ‘toppling the system’ would place these people in a much WORSE positions. But Pluto is not a rational planet. He is famous for being willing to destroy himself so long as he can take down others in the process. He is known for lashing out blindly at anyone who makes him feel his inner anguish.

The best way to deal with Pluto however, is not to take your frustrations out on statues and Jeff Bezos, but rather become aware of buried feelings & motivations. You want to BE that noble statue. You want to BE that powerful rich guy. But wrong ideas have led you to believe this is impossible so you comfort yourself by believing these things are your enemies rather than your own secret desires.

Don’t despair though. You are in luck, because it is actually quite simple to find the sense of importance you are seeking and the sign of Capricorn can show you how.

You see, seeking respect in the eyes of others is actually a warped expression of Capricorn. What Capricorn actually stands for is the ability to build something of value. Something you can take pride in. Something that makes the world a better place. Frequently this will cause people to become respected by others but that is just a side effect. The sense of worth Capricorn seeks actually comes from the work itself- never from how others regard you. And working towards something meaningful is within the grasp of every person.

It matters not how privileged you are, nor if the work of your hands be grand or humble. Capricorn favors the poor, so a poor person who manages to save the life of one turkey is just as important in his eyes as the billionaire who runs an endangered species preserve.

The important thing is to consider what you feel you should give to the world and then get to work giving it. It could be anything. Making people smile. Raising kids. Learning to live off the land. Translating obscure Greek texts. Learning how to get rich. Anything which requires you to make an effort is worthy.

There are a couple dumb ideas in circulation though, which I feel need to be cleared up so that people realize how easy it actually is to be someone of value.

DUMB IDEA #1 You need to do the thing you love.

This is a definite no. Capricorn rules your life’s work and he is by no means the sign of fun and pleasure. He is a sign of virtue, hard work, duty and sacrifice. So forget about your “bliss.” Consider what you feel you SHOULD do, what you COULD do, what you secretly suspect may be your calling even if it seems a bit odd or out of step with how you normally think about yourself.

Worry not as to whether or not your calling seems enjoyable or torturous. If you believe it is meaningful, then welcome pain, boredom & tedium with open arms. Activities done in a spirit of duty tend to become more pleasurable over time.

DUMB IDEA #2 You need to make money doing the thing you love.

This is an even worse idea which greatly limits a person’s ability to contribute. Capricorn is about what you GIVE to society. Not what you RECEIVE. Sometimes a person’s vocation and avocation may be the same thing, but frequently they are not. In many cases, a person pours their money INTO their calling as opposed to receiving money from it.

Maybe you are called to befriend those in prison by writing them letters. Maybe you will open a Turkey Refuge for rescued thanksgiving turkeys and take a second job at McDonalds to fund your efforts. Consider famous people throughout history and you will see it is practically a minority who made their living off their famed contributions. Nobody paid Newton to discover gravity nor did Orpheus make money from trying to lead his true love out of hell.

Capricorn is about what you put into the world, not what you take out of it. Self-esteem comes from what you give to the world, not from what the world gives you.

So to summarize, if you are one of the people who finds themselves dissatisfied with the status quo, consider that this may be an expression of your own frustrated success drive. And consider that if you place your focus on your life’s work itself- however humble- that no one has the power to stop you from doing something meaningful and building an existence you can feel proud of. Maybe you will be a prisoner who inspires others with your creative prison cell decorations. Maybe you will be a prisoner who teaches other prisoners how to connect with Jesus. Maybe you will be a prisoner who heal’s broken hearts through your sexual touch. It is a certainty that no matter who you are and where you are there is something meaningful you can do.

And perhaps years down the road your contributions will be recognized and rewarded. But by the time this happens, you probably will not care anymore, because you have already found a way to find worth and meaning in your own efforts.

Personally, I think Capricorn tends to delay external rewards until a person reaches the point where they no longer seek them. Being celebrated & even appreciated too early in the process of walking one’s own path can have a warping effect, causing a person to subconsciously start playing to the crowd. And integrity to ones own vision + persistence upon one’s unique path are possibly the attributes the Crusty Goat likes best.

Related post…. The Yellows

A love song inspired by Capricorn…  Bone to Bone

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Buying Pink Things

Recently my mind has been so overloaded it is hard to function. It feels like all I have to do is briefly consider something, and I start to get bombarded with information and insights concerning the object of focus. So I have been putting a bit of my focus on astrology, just as a way of channeling this energy.

And when I connect my mind to one of the planets, I don’t just get abstract insights but also ones regarding my own life. Like, a few days ago I realized my financial problems are rooted in the fact that I attempt to use money to impress others in order to ensure my place in the community and thus my personal safety.

I remember the moment in high school when decided  I would use money this way. I realized people saw me as being weird and that this could be a problem on multiple fronts. But I also noticed that wearing polished, conservative and stuffy clothes could override the messages my personality put out- or at least cast them in a more flattering light.  So, I made a little vow to myself I would always wear clothes that were as normal and pompous as possible. This would be my way of staying safe in the world. I later extended this vow to include all other possessions. It certainly seemed to me that- as an adult- people look to your home, your car, your style of decorating etc, to determine the sort of person you are and how much respect and consideration they should give you.

One thing about being “weird” is that people are likely to reach the conclusion that you are either stupid/insane or some kind of a genius. I have been cast at both ends of this spectrum and- until recently- it seemed to me that an association with money and status would make people more likely to reach for the genius category.

When I was in high school though, seeming intelligent was the least of my concerns. I was branded intelligent at a young age and as long as I went to the same k-12 school with the same group of people, there was little I could do to change that (slightly disagreeable) perception.

At that point, I mostly wanted to fit in. A few years later, my main concern became mateability. It felt like- after looks- a normal personality was the most valuable quality a female could possess. And clothes were the easiest way to accomplish this, since if I focused on acting super normal, it almost seemed to have the opposite effect. Whereas if you wore normal clothes and tried not to say anything, what could go wrong? This is probably why my first boyfriend dumped me for not having a personality.

Eventually, though, I realized men will still mate with you if you seem odd. Some might even like it. Nonetheless, I continued to feel that seeming as normal (which to me meant wealthy, stuffy, snobby, preppy, conservative) as possible was critical to survival. I was terrified of James dying and being left destitute on my own to roam the streets. (He is my only friend and only family member.)  It seemed that a poised and dignified person (ie a nicely dressed person surrounded by stuffy and valuable possessions) would be more likely to garner social support than someone drooling on themselves in an oversized tshirt and no pants. Winning the sympathy of strangers in case of an emergency became my new motivation for wanting to be normal.

A few days ago- after getting in touch with a planet-I had the opportunity to go to Walmart. Since I don’t drive, any time I have the opportunity to visit a store, it feels like a holiday. While admiring all the beautiful things on display, it hit me like a lightening bolt that I struggle financially because I am always buying the wrong things. My attempts to use money to impress others were causing the planets to block me from having any.

I started filling up a cart with everything pastel pink and lavender. It felt like breathing oxygen. Then I left the cart in the middle of the store since I couldn’t pay for it, but did take home a few gems, such as pink notebooks covered in baby kittens- the very sorts of things I try to avoid owning since I feel they will project “I have psychological problems and arrested development” out to the rest of the world.

Now, just to be clear- sticking to the rigid and pompous is what I felt I *should* do- not always what I did in practice. Half of my house and most of my wardrobe is light pink, and if it weren’t this way I couldn’t function at all. But I was always trying to push myself in the other direction- to get by with as little pink as possible. The things I imagined I would spend money on if I got rich were always those that would make me seem wealthy & calcified to others, so that I could finally feel safe. Because a wealthy person- a woman of dignity and grace- will never be left to die on the streets.

But I have come to believe that-although the planets each have their own energy and character- they are working together as a team to accomplish the same goal. The goal being that each person fulfill their own destiny and role in the scheme of life. And my desire to use money as a shield which could protect me from criticism and draw love and support is counter to my personal purpose. If I do manage to ever draw support from the outside world, it will have to be through expressing myself, not hiding behind a mountain of Rolexes.

In essence the planets are aligners. They live above our heads in the spiritual realms to enforce God’s plan and purpose. They can block or challenge us to bring us into alignment with divine plan. But the plan for each person is so unique. Certainly, there are some people who will ONLY achieve their purpose once they learn to hide behind a mountain of Rolexes and project a false image of wealth to impress people. I do not think expressing one’s inner self to the outer world should be the goal of all people.

Now only time will tell if my new understanding of money is superior to my old one!

I have more to say, but it is 4:25 am and getting to where I can hardly keep my eyes open. I can only hope I am still making sense. I will write more later. Thanks for listening!

Me, examining the study of the Governor’s Mansion. This is more or less a lightweight version of the vibe I felt I needed to be projecting.