In your hand was the green and it felt like the dream that you wanted for me. You were muscular yes so I gave you my best still your hand held the key.
And I pleaded, because I want to feel needed to be broken and bleeded by something so bright. Like you found me, your arms wrapped around me the sun shining down me, I’m covered in light.
And you eyes like the sky spinning blue round the mind that you opened for me. Warming up to your smile gazing back for a while still your hand held the key.
And you taught me to learn how to cower to be overpowered by something so bright. I conceded because I want to feel needed to be broken and bleeded and covered in light.
With your hands on my arms, have I been here before? With your hand in my mouth and a light through the door? There’s no need to scream, there’s no need to escape he is pushing me through space.
Though the asphalt was cracked still I leapt like a dragonfly smiling inside. You gave me butterfly wings all the beautiful things that you grow when you hide.
Like a flower, to be overpowered to learn how to cower and crush in the night. In the doorway, your shadow before me until there’s no more me, I’m covered in light.
A king sliced cruelly in two- the sexual fantasy of Pluto in Capricorn.
Have you noticed people being much angrier than usual in recent years and that this anger is generally directed towards government, authority figures, statues, rich people and anyone who holds a position of prestige in society?
Astrologically, this is due to Pluto moving through the sign of Capricorn, which it entered in 2008 and will remain in until 2024. Pluto is the planet which causes repressed rage to rush to the surface and it is currently surfacing repressed emotions of a Capricornian nature.
Capricorn rules authority, career, fame, respect and success. Having a place in society. Being somebody. So basically this is a time when all pent up feelings relating to an inability to be someone who matters are bubbling to the surface.
This is why, currently, the angriest people are frequently those who work in fields where it is quite difficult to achieve a position of respect and stability- music, the arts, restaurants etc. Feeling unable to fulfill their Capricornian urges, they prefer to watch things burn to the ground as a form of catharsis.
From a rational perspective, it is quite likely that ‘toppling the system’ would place these people in a much WORSE positions. But Pluto is not a rational planet. He is famous for being willing to destroy himself so long as he can take down others in the process. He is known for lashing out blindly at anyone who makes him feel his inner anguish.
The best way to deal with Pluto however, is not to take your frustrations out on statues and Jeff Bezos, but rather become aware of buried feelings & motivations. You want to BE that noble statue. You want to BE that powerful rich guy. But wrong ideas have led you to believe this is impossible so you comfort yourself by believing these things are your enemies rather than your own secret desires.
Don’t despair though. You are in luck, because it is actually quite simple to find the sense of importance you are seeking and the sign of Capricorn can show you how.
You see, seeking respect in the eyes of others is actually a warped expression of Capricorn. What Capricorn actually stands for is the ability to build something of value. Something you can take pride in. Something that makes the world a better place. Frequently this will cause people to become respected by others but that is just a side effect. The sense of worth Capricorn seeks actually comes from the work itself- never from how others regard you. And working towards something meaningful is within the grasp of every person.
It matters not how privileged you are, nor if the work of your hands be grand or humble. Capricorn favors the poor, so a poor person who manages to save the life of one turkey is just as important in his eyes as the billionaire who runs an endangered species preserve.
The important thing is to consider what you feel you should give to the world and then get to work giving it. It could be anything. Making people smile. Raising kids. Learning to live off the land. Translating obscure Greek texts. Learning how to get rich. Anything which requires you to make an effort is worthy.
There are a couple dumb ideas in circulation though, which I feel need to be cleared up so that people realize how easy it actually is to be someone of value.
DUMB IDEA #1 You need to do the thing you love.
This is a definite no. Capricorn rules your life’s work and he is by no means the sign of fun and pleasure. He is a sign of virtue, hard work, duty and sacrifice. So forget about your “bliss.” Consider what you feel you SHOULD do, what you COULD do, what you secretly suspect may be your calling even if it seems a bit odd or out of step with how you normally think about yourself.
Worry not as to whether or not your calling seems enjoyable or torturous. If you believe it is meaningful, then welcome pain, boredom & tedium with open arms. Activities done in a spirit of duty tend to become more pleasurable over time.
DUMB IDEA #2 You need to make money doing the thing you love.
This is an even worse idea which greatly limits a person’s ability to contribute. Capricorn is about what you GIVE to society. Not what you RECEIVE. Sometimes a person’s vocation and avocation may be the same thing, but frequently they are not. In many cases, a person pours their money INTO their calling as opposed to receiving money from it.
Maybe you are called to befriend those in prison by writing them letters. Maybe you will open a Turkey Refuge for rescued thanksgiving turkeys and take a second job at McDonalds to fund your efforts. Consider famous people throughout history and you will see it is practically a minority who made their living off their famed contributions. Nobody paid Newton to discover gravity nor did Orpheus make money from trying to lead his true love out of hell.
Capricorn is about what you put into the world, not what you take out of it. Self-esteem comes from what you give to the world, not from what the world gives you.
So to summarize, if you are one of the people who finds themselves dissatisfied with the status quo, consider that this may be an expression of your own frustrated success drive. And consider that if you place your focus on your life’s work itself- however humble- that no one has the power to stop you from doing something meaningful and building an existence you can feel proud of. Maybe you will be a prisoner who inspires others with your creative prison cell decorations. Maybe you will be a prisoner who teaches other prisoners how to connect with Jesus. Maybe you will be a prisoner who heal’s broken hearts through your sexual touch. It is a certainty that no matter who you are and where you are there is something meaningful you can do.
And perhaps years down the road your contributions will be recognized and rewarded. But by the time this happens, you probably will not care anymore, because you have already found a way to find worth and meaning in your own efforts.
Personally, I think Capricorn tends to delay external rewards until a person reaches the point where they no longer seek them. Being celebrated & even appreciated too early in the process of walking one’s own path can have a warping effect, causing a person to subconsciously start playing to the crowd. And integrity to ones own vision + persistence upon one’s unique path are possibly the attributes the Crusty Goat likes best.
Like the string that brings the rain, you could feel him coming Like the rain was dripping down Overflowing for a while and no man could hold it They just watched it pouring down.
First his hands were on your face- maybe this is love? Then your head upon the ground With his shoe upon your face, time to close your eyes now Listen to the rain fall down.
Watch the window through the rain, hands upon your shoulders Watch the things you knew fall down First you feel a flash of pain, maybe this is love? Watch the world you knew fall down.
Pour your heart into his mind, read the figures in the wood There were things that you got right and some things misunderstood Watch for shadows that approach, darkened faces that draw close They’re the remnants of the fire; they’re the ones who love you most.
Like to watch the sky through lace, only for a moment You could fly away somehow Learn to watch the flow of days and the flow of moments Like the fear they’re dripping down.
Like to watch the sky through pain, only for a moment. You could fly away somehow Learn to watch the flow of days and the flow of moments Like the fear they’re dripping now.
They say the rain will play that song again
You know the way it will go.
To feel his net within my mind again
I’ll lead the way even so.
If you’re gonna take a one time stand, then you’re a one time man
You don’t know the way
If you want to say that they were wrong when they were barely born
Save it for another day.
If you want to take the easy way and fly
First you’ll walk towards the window by my side
Water flowing through the drain and
Everything remains the same and
If you want to find the open road and go
First you’ll walk towards the window then you’ll know
Clouds are foaming in the blue and
Do you think that they’re reforming you man?
I feel the baker take her time again
Stir slow, stir slow all of the corn.
Green field appear within my mind again
Grow slow, grow slow, only born.
If you wanna take a one time stand, then you’re a one time man
You don’t know the way.
If you wanna say that they were wrong, when they were barely born
Save it for another day.
If you want to take the easy way and fly
First you’ll walk towards the window by my side
Water flowing through the drain and
Everything remains the same and
If you want to find the open road and go
First you’ll walk towards the window and you’ll know
Clouds are foaming in the blue and
Do you think that they’re reforming you man?
You know the way to pull that cold from me
Pull hard, pull hard, pull with your hand.
My hair was rope inside your hand, you see
Pull hard, pull hard see if you can.
If you wanna take a one time stand, then you’re a one time man
You don’t know the way.
If you wanna say that they were wrong, when they were barely born
Save it for another day.
If you want to take the easy way and fly
First you walk towards the window by my side
Water flowing through the drain and
Everything remains the same an
If you want to find the open road and go
First you’ll walk towards the window and you’ll know
Clouds are foaming in the blue and
Do you think that they’re reforming you man?
Hold my head in my hands and I struggle to think
I cannot understand, I can never be sure
Though I struggle to stand, still I have one more drink
Then I follow the hand that will open the door
And he will be there for sure.
In the blue of your room where you fall over me
I begin to forget when you hover above
Till our minds overlap, like a bubble I break
Spilling into your hand, dripping down on the rug
And we will live for love.
Change me. Change me.
You could teach me the things that you know
You could give me the money that you’ve made
Lay your hands on my fingers let me know
All the things that you want for me to say.
As long as you will stay
I tried so hard to pray, but they didn’t respond
They just fluttered away, so I reached for a pill
Till the waves came to crash, cold and aquamarine
I swore I would obey, I would follow your will
As long as you love me still.
Change me. Change me.
You will teach me the things that you know
You will give me the money that you’ve made
I don’t know where the things with wings they go
Why the sound of a scream they flow away…
And so I will stay.
I remained in the bath till you pulled me beneath
Till you pulled at my hair but I didn’t resist
I could feel you around blending into the air
Looking aquamarine and I gave you my wrist
And we will live for this.
Change me. Change me.
I remained in the bath till you pulled me beneath
Till you pulled at my hair but I didn’t resist
I could feel you around, blending into the air
Looking aquamarine and I gave you my wrist.
I could see in your mind, it was just like a dream
All the things that were gone and those that stayed
But I stayed there to long and I struggled breath
But we always knew there’d be a price to pay.
You came to me just like the sky
Gave me a box and it was filled with only time
Don’t wanna have to say it; don’t wanna feel the pain at all
But you know it was never there at all.
Flowing away I watch you go
I was prepared- I know the ways that life can go
Don’t wanna have to say it; don’t wanna feel the pain at all
But you know if was never there at all.
Burning me to the ground now
Scatter the dust around now
Into the wind I fly, I feel you there surrounding me.
Enter in the rains to brings me down
Luminous hands from all around
You are the sky you hold me in, you press me down, you keep me.
Reach for a life within your sky
I know that I’m a bird and I can truly fly
Don’t wanna have to say it; don’t wanna play the game at all
But you know it was never real at all.
Pushing me down upon the stones
Making me strong within the bones
It’s not a dream- I fight the mud, I dig the dirt, this is my home.
Watching all the blood flow on the ground
Luminous red within the brown
It’s not a dream- you are the sky, you press me down, you keep me.
I came to you because of need
I came to you because you’d teach me how to bleed
And I’ll be the one to say it; and I’ll be the one to take the fall
But you know it was never real at all.
I have been wearing yellow tinted glasses today, which makes it a bit easier to find words to express myself.
This is one of many songs I have written about protective spirits, the sorts that follow a person around. In this case, they are spirits of the air. They help a person to avoid danger, but if the emotional connection to them grows too strong then a feeling of detachment from life can take hold. Because they are spirits of freedom & escape. Not spirits of building a nest within this world.
Although they do provide friendship to some extent, if a person is trying to resolve loneliness, fire spirits would be a better choice. Because they warm the heart & make it easier to connect to others.
Still, I love spirits of the air. They are always around us and never far away.
Step softly now.
See their hooded eyes.
Keep us close at hand-
You may need our quick advice
But everybody’s watching you- they got a lot to say.
Just keep their words within a jar- we’ll open it one day.
After all, life was never meant to be your home.
Life was never nothing but the road you chose to take.
Step softly now.
Feel the hidden hand.
Through the bushes it extends to you
The outline of a man
Then he says hide! duck! back up against the van where he can’t see you!
Crawl over to the shadows where we’re waiting, for we may be the only ones who need you.
After all, life was never meant to be your home.
Life was never nothing but the road you chose to take.
And how do you feel now, standing on your own?
Like a column made of fire?
A feeling that you could be quite alone.
Move quickly now- don’t believe you have a friend
They just like to watch you trip and fall- they’ll push you down again.
So quickly crawl back into the alleyway where he won’t see you
Back up against the tree and we will be there- perhaps we are the only ones who need you.
After all, life was never meant to be your home.
Life was never nothing but the road you chose to take.
I have to include a random picture here for practical purposes. (Otherwise, Facebook attaches a photo I hate to my posts when I try to share them.) This is me at Blenko- a place where they make glass in West Virginia. It is one of my favorite things about the state.
I am still in a mute phase where I have nothing to say, but am forcing myself to write one quick paragraph anyway. It is funny, because I can write endlessly on Facebook but that is because I am simply responding to a sea of people and not having to pull anything from within myself. Left to my own devices, I am clear and flavorless jelly, I think.
Drag me cross the floor Tell me that I’m dead Music fills my ears Lightning fills my head and it’s like ah….You’ve been there all along.
Push me on the ground Pick me up again Push me down and laugh at me You don’t know who I am and it’s like ah…. I’ve been here all along.
And now I’m standing in a night so clear The air so still The stars so near It’s like I’ve reached the gleaming atmosphere.
Staring at the wall Water in my hand No one there to hold me and I don’t know who I am And it’s like ah… I’ve been here all along
Dreams that slip away from you somehow when I didn’t know how To hold onto the bottle for myself. Dreams that lead the way for your somehow when I didn’t know how To follow down the glassy road myself.
Pull me to the stairs Hold me in your hands Who knows what you’ll do this time or where the dice will land And it’s like ah… we’ve been here all along.
And now I’m standing in a world so blue A sphere so far away from you
A stream that leads me down so low There is no me I flow and flow
A world so far away and clear The music plays, the stars are near It’s like I’ve reached the gleaming atmosphere.
Meeting the perfect, ultimate man at the mall… but this was from a few months ago when malls were still allowed to be open. 🙁
