42 years in a place where nothing shines
63 years in a world where nothing’s mine
I crawl; I beg
There’s a face up on the wall but he does not return my call.
Tell me God, what did I do wrong? I did everything you said
I organized my sock drawer and poured shit upon my head
Please don’t make me be the person to remind you
Please do not forget the people who defined you.
Everybody told me that someday I would see
You were just a taker; you took all your gold from me
Still I scraped myself on your stone
Threw my body on your altar and begged you to take me home.
Tell me God, what did I do wrong after 40 years of pain?
I cut myself so badly that my blood poured down like rain
Please don’t make me be the person to remind you
You should not forget the people who defined you.
You are a diamond in a world where nothing shines.
You’re my friend within a place where nothing’s mine.
I walked through the bright red door you opened up for me
Lay my heart upon my eyes; I did not want to see
The hell I paved in gold
Everything that I destroyed and everything I sold.
Tell me God, what did I do wrong? I was there for you each night
I bore the nails into my fists; I held the screams in tight
Must I really be the person to remind you?
You did not exist until the day that we defined you.
Why you want to touch something so warm
When you know life is cold and it’s back to the war?
Why would you want to see ribbons tied to the tree
Every spring? Life is flat. Ribbons don’t mean a thing.
Or else maybe they do and the problem is you
Watch the kids sing and dance. What’s the matter with you?
Don’t you want to play play? Smile and dance the whole day?
No I don’t. Let me sleep till I gather my strength then I’ll weep.
Obviously there was a time
I believed in the sky, I could dream, I could fly
Then he came to my life, a man fresh out of prison
I thought he was wise like a purple magician
Well, I never believed, but I had to pretend or
He’d lift up his big log and that was the end
Flat on the ground with my face in a ditch drain
Watching the water flow learning the language of pain
Learning languages darker and deeper
Learn how to play dead and be a mind reader
Giving a hand job with only your hand
Was it Shakespeare who said “Villainy- your name is man?”
Maybe he said it, but who would believe it
When nothing has happened till no one has seen it?
Too many things that have never occurred
I saw with my face in the water, the images blurred.
Scenes of night murders, black powder voodoo
Family and close friends cooked into a stew
I did not want to see it, much less to believe it, but
Water in my ears would not let me leave it alone.
Then one day I arose he was gone, and
I was not the same, but the world had marched on
Full of fair-weather friendships and white powder smiles
Won’t you tell me your story, sit down and stay for a while?
I would prefer not to, when you’d never believe me
I walk down the street and there’s black things I see, but
No one else can see them and they’d never believe them
Doomed to walk this earth with only one single friend.
So do I believe in the white unicorn?
Yes, of course, for he saved me with his silver horn, and at
Night we lie down and discuss all the black things
My finger, his horn, with eternity rings.
Until one day the black will reach it’s highest power
We’ll steal all its secrets in that final hour
Then maybe I, I’ll believe I can fly, so
We’ll smile at each other and we’ll turn to the sky.
